Published on 12, July, 2020
Cannabis... Some do, some don't... I used to, but am really quite pleased with myself! Attempt 1.3m is now my longest period of cessation in about 3 or 4 years. Just a reminder... don't limit your resolve to NYE, you can make changes anytime. But make them for the right reason! :-)
I'm very pleased to say that I am now about 5 months free from cannabis. It was really difficult to quit and I tried a few times before and couldn't manage it. I don't know what was different about this time, I just had much more resolve because I realised how much it was affecting my life and how nothing would change if I didn't quit. There came a point after about a month sober when I realised that was it, and I wouldn't go back.
I got pretty bad withdrawals for about 3 weeks including really bad abdominal pains and stomach upsets, night sweats, and really bad insomnia (almost didn't sleep at all for a week). It took about 2 months for my dopamine system to return to baseline so that things felt good again, and then I finally had some motivation to do things. Previously I required weed in order to have an appetite or enjoy something such as watching a TV show, so without it I had a depressing couple of months where nothing felt good.
Cannabis is one of those things which was really beneficial to me, but over time became more of a curse. I was dependent on it and trapped by it. The big benefit for me was as a sufferer of insomnia for my entire life, weed was the only thing that allowed me to fall asleep easily. But then it was impossible to quit because I got even worse rebound insomnia.
Secondly it was a good escape... too good. It made me not care about anything. It made me content to be bored. I did nothing except get high. If anything ever upset me slightly or I got sensory overload or couldn't cope with things... I would just get high and everything would be good. It made me more laid back instead of getting bothered by every noise and smell around me, I could relax.
I would either get high every day (specifically on the strongest skunk), or I would try to moderate, in which case my life was just waiting for the next time I could get high. I preferred getting high to doing anything else.
I probably will have it again at some point, but it definitely won't be until I have sorted out my living situation. It has been a huge effort to organise selling my house and buying another one. I'm in way over my head, but I think there is no way I would have got as far as I have if I was still getting high. So I absolutely forbid myself to have any until I have moved.
I want it to be a treat that I have occasionally instead of something I need, but I don't know if that is possible. So it might be a bad idea to ever have it again.
Welcome to the real world that just the joys of autism lack of stimulation from boring day to day life haha why I'm saving to go traveling as the only time I'm happy or stimulated is when I'm up a mountain or some where adventures. Being stuck in the suburbs is a dull predictable life.
Being stuck in the suburbs is a dull predictable life.
We had to move to the countryside because the suburban swinging parties were too exhausting.
The Hogsback layby is a suburb???
Ahhh... hence the location.... he says from the 'house party' capital... so I've heard... I was never invited
When there is more than one gay?
lol well I clasify where I live as suburb's even though it was originally a village but since the new housing estate went up its feeling more like suburbs than the village since there's like 4 housing estates within the village. So it's like when can you stop refering it to a village if you get me