Medicinal smoking...

I'm very pleased to say that I am now about 5 months free from cannabis. It was really difficult to quit and I tried a few times before and couldn't manage it. I don't know what was different about this time, I just had much more resolve because I realised how much it was affecting my life and how nothing would change if I didn't quit. There came a point after about a month sober when I realised that was it, and I wouldn't go back.

I got pretty bad withdrawals for about 3 weeks including really bad abdominal pains and stomach upsets, night sweats, and really bad insomnia (almost didn't sleep at all for a week). It took about 2 months for my dopamine system to return to baseline so that things felt good again, and then I finally had some motivation to do things. Previously I required weed in order to have an appetite or enjoy something such as watching a TV show, so without it I had a depressing couple of months where nothing felt good.

Cannabis is one of those things which was really beneficial to me, but over time became more of a curse. I was dependent on it and trapped by it. The big benefit for me was as a sufferer of insomnia for my entire life, weed was the only thing that allowed me to fall asleep easily. But then it was impossible to quit because I got even worse rebound insomnia.

Secondly it was a good escape... too good. It made me not care about anything. It made me content to be bored. I did nothing except get high. If anything ever upset me slightly or I got sensory overload or couldn't cope with things... I would just get high and everything would be good. It made me more laid back instead of getting bothered by every noise and smell around me, I could relax.

I would either get high every day (specifically on the strongest skunk), or I would try to moderate, in which case my life was just waiting for the next time I could get high. I preferred getting high to doing anything else.

I probably will have it again at some point, but it definitely won't be until I have sorted out my living situation. It has been a huge effort to organise selling my house and buying another one. I'm in way over my head, but I think there is no way I would have got as far as I have if I was still getting high. So I absolutely forbid myself to have any until I have moved.

I want it to be a treat that I have occasionally instead of something I need, but I don't know if that is possible. So it might be a bad idea to ever have it again.

I'm very pleased to say that I am now about 5 months free from cannabis. It was really difficult to quit and I tried a few times before and couldn't manage it. I don't know what was different about this time, I just had much more resolve because I realised how much it was affecting my life and how nothing would change if I didn't quit. There came a point after about a month sober when I realised that was it, and I wouldn't go back.

I got pretty bad withdrawals for about 3 weeks including really bad abdominal pains and stomach upsets, night sweats, and really bad insomnia (almost didn't sleep at all for a week). It took about 2 months for my dopamine system to return to baseline so that things felt good again, and then I finally had some motivation to do things. Previously I required weed in order to have an appetite or enjoy something such as watching a TV show, so without it I had a depressing couple of months where nothing felt good.

Cannabis is one of those things which was really beneficial to me, but over time became more of a curse. I was dependent on it and trapped by it. The big benefit for me was as a sufferer of insomnia for my entire life, weed was the only thing that allowed me to fall asleep easily. But then it was impossible to quit because I got even worse rebound insomnia.

Secondly it was a good escape... too good. It made me not care about anything. It made me content to be bored. I did nothing except get high. If anything ever upset me slightly or I got sensory overload or couldn't cope with things... I would just get high and everything would be good. It made me more laid back instead of getting bothered by every noise and smell around me, I could relax.

I would either get high every day (specifically on the strongest skunk), or I would try to moderate, in which case my life was just waiting for the next time I could get high. I preferred getting high to doing anything else.

I probably will have it again at some point, but it definitely won't be until I have sorted out my living situation. It has been a huge effort to organise selling my house and buying another one. I'm in way over my head, but I think there is no way I would have got as far as I have if I was still getting high. So I absolutely forbid myself to have any until I have moved.

I want it to be a treat that I have occasionally instead of something I need, but I don't know if that is possible. So it might be a bad idea to ever have it again.

Your reply strikes at the core of my dissatisfaction with "weed" as it is nowadays. In the eighties when I started and up until 2011 I used to smoke hashish. I found that whilst I could lapse into similar behaviour to that which you describe, it was optional. The new minimum 15% THC and none heat "annealed" raw green stuff is a completely different and less pleasant (if you ask me) deal. 

Sadly, hashish has become quite rare these days. I only get to smoke it either when someone buys me a bit off the darkweb, or if someone gives my their surplus greenery and I make a bit myself.

Welcome to the real world that just the joys of autism lack of stimulation from boring day to day life haha why I'm saving to go traveling as the only time I'm happy or stimulated is when I'm up a mountain or some where adventures. Being stuck in the suburbs is a dull predictable life.

This sounds very similar to the situation/rut that I fell into. I was dependent on it, at least in terms of self regulating emotion. I've also been in the position of sitting waiting for that next smoke! So thank you for sharing! 

In terms of a return, obviously it's your own choice... what I would say is I had the same issues at the end of/after uni (over a decade ago!) As I did for the last 4 years... I had 2 or 3 years clear, and went back with the intention it would be a treat...

Obviously it then slowly crept up and up... I'm more confident this time than in any of my other attempts to quit in recent years. I've seen the financial and familial issues it has caused me, and will use that and regaining my license to (hopefully) stay on track.

Congratulations on your cessation! Keep going! :-)