"NeuroDiversity"... means Psychopaths and Sociopaths, too (nowadays).

I’m in 

Oh DC

as you are aware. Like you I have recognised that I have been living along side a toxic person. That in itself is progress, to be able to see that their behaviour is not right. 

Howver, the crunch can be what to do about it and if you are able to leave such an environment and having the resource to do so. Is there anyone who can support you with this. Such behaviours can eat away at you and your self belief. 

There are many here who value you greatly and would like to see you in a happier place and able to freely express yourself x

Greetings, all. I keep thinking about this Thread, rightly, since I myself began it...!

It is a real bother, to Post when I can do, rather than when I want to. Also, I cannot recall all of the Threads I reply to... certainly I am not alone in this. This is a general reply -again...

I posted the links which I posted in the OP because they validated what I said, about SocioPsychoPaths thinking themselves akin to Autistic People... also, the content in them seemed to be similar to what HE (my so-called Brother) likes to say: "Let's get together! We are all the same! I don't care who you are!"... sort of thing. Very sad and very bad.

The second reason I began this Thread was to draw attention to the fact that people like that - who do NOT care - see themselves as the same as persons who DO care. But "Society" seems to treat those who do NOT care with more respect: They threaten, bully, harm, lie, cheat, steal, etc... and so - as long as the law is not broken - Society seems to reward that, as if Society is afraid of them...?

Apart from that, the better Websites which I paid attention to seem to have changed... Websites upon "How to deal with a Socio/psycho-path", that is. Here is a link to one of them, where the text is similar, but the previous links which I had (not posted here) have since disappeared!

https://www.sott.net/article/350993-How-to-deal-with-psychopaths-toxic-people

...If there are better sites with advice then please post links here. But the advice I read is to mainly Avoid such people... 

(I had more to say, and may say more at another time, but I have to sign off, now.) Good Fortune to All.   :-)

Thank you Sunflower. It’s a really good article and well expressed.

Bail was meant to run out this morning, but has been extended until March. I am also seeking an injunction..so that will be the first court date I’ll be dealing with.

look after yourself

ellie x

I know you know a lot of this stuff already, and I don't want to alarm you, but this article has lots of sensible suggestions about keeping yourself safe when you break up with a narcissist; 

https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2017/03/this-is-what-happens-when-you-discard-an-abusive-narcissist-first/

Take care Ellie ()

Just added you LW. I couldn't read the message. For some reason you can only see the first few words on a request on tablet. Thanks for adding me!

Hi cloudy did you receive a request from me, I couldn’t PM you so added my words to a friend request, thank you .

I try not to think of it as my autism is the problem, I rationalise it as they are arseholes.

I really don't see the point of milling it over in my head. If it's uncalled for, it's not me who needs to rationalise it.

Don't give people the power over you that makes you reflect on your actions after it is an event where the other person is clearly in the wrong. They are still having an effect on you. Don't give them power.

I understand how people feel. I had my fair share of bad situations. We can't blame ourselves. I want you and anyone reading this to stop dragging yourselves down. You aren't the problem.

Windscale said:

IDK, it just seems like somehow we broadcast a signal that gets picked up on and we're taken advantage of etc. :-(

I try to avoid that way of thinking. Some people don't need a signal to pick up on, that's just how they live. There are people who will buy something from a shop, or call a call centre with the intention of being as much of a *** as possible. NT's have to deal with it too, it's not like they are immune to dickheads.

I'm fine with people who want to pick a fair fight/argument/dispute/debate, but when it turns into underhanded cowardly stuff, that's when it really bothers me. Picking on people weaker, ganging up, covert tactics, and people who are the aggressor, but when it doesn't go their way they play victim.

We will be OK. Let's be easy on ourselves too. There are enough battles to fight, so laying into ourselves on top of it is sort of doing the arseholes work for them.

There are good people all over this world, it's peppered with *** too, unfortunately.

Hope you all end up OK.

.... imagine feeding a parasite... it’s appetite is never met. I need a tic bird

Btw... he ain’t finished with me yet....

Erm... my mess

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/toxic-relationships/201709/how-spot-narcissistic-abuse

Take one narcissist, which lends itself to coercive and controlling behaviour. From research, they don’t necessarily seek weak people..but at times people they admire, people who fill the gaps of what they’re not, .... then the fun comes in pulling them down...

IDK, it just seems like somehow we broadcast a signal that gets picked up on and we're taken advantage of etc. :-(

Morning.

its sad to know that there are some on the forum who have or are experiencing such trauma. Such treatment hurts and the autism means it can be challenging to deal with or rationalise WHY you should be treated in such a way.

is it because they can? Do I carry my vulnerabilities like a glowing beacon? Do I see the signs too late? Duped too easily into trusting others.. ? 

Disambiguating Cynosure said:

The most pertinant answer out of all thus far is that from Cloudy Mountains. Yes, HE (my so-called Brother) has become sort of 'worse' at myself in the past few Years. I say Years, because what is going on with myself is like a very very slow erosion... Bad Dreams, bad life with HIM, and not really any solid proof. (No law-breaking, no assaults, as such.) Just me doing lots of Treading upon eggshells, avoidance, side-stepping, not triggering anything... just like how I would deal with a School Bully...!

Sounds pretty bad. Sorry to hear it DC. I think that's the worst kind of situation, the sort where it's all either covert or kept at a level where you can be deemed as the "instigator". I love my dad, and he's been there for me at times I needed him, but.........he literally has no control over his temper. None. He gets a free pass too because of his upbringing. He had two alcoholic parents, and took some serious physical abuse. His mom shoved a meat fork in his side, multiple times, amongst other things, lots. Everyone has to tread on eggshells, otherwise he goes into tirades, and gets physically threatening. Never gets physically abusive with women, but it's open season on most of the male members of the family. I'm not really one to listen to women getting called ***** for no reason, so I'm usually the one that challenges him. As a kid I got into some terrible fights with him, we'd smash each other to bits. Most of his tantrums usually stemmed from gambling losses or things that were nothing to do with us. I was always told "he learned it from his parents", like that's an excuse for resorting to violence over basically nothing. He seemed to mellow in old age, but after a few serious health scares, the devils back. From time to time he flies into insane rages, verbally abuses my mom, and breaks stuff. He's attacked me a few times, and I can hardly beat an ill 70 year old up. The problem is he's still fit enough to do damage, but not fit enough to take it back. Even restraining him could kill him. I dread visiting. It's not a regular thing, but frequent enough. The question I ask myself is that now he has health problems, is he using it as a tool to do what he couldn't 20 years earlier, because he can't get it back now. Still to this day I'm told about his upbringing, and that "He's 70 now, he's a lost cause". So I'm expected to just sit there, and put up with his ***. It's a situation I hate, we mostly get along, but you never know when he will fly into a rage. He doesn't drink, do any kind of drugs, or anything that would change his mental state. He's lucid, that's my problem, and he has a ready-made defence. I love my dad, but he's a ***. Worst thing is people make excuses for him being a ***, I won't, and I've told him. He's a coward. I love him, but I don't need to respect him.

I really do hope you get some peace. I know that looming threat. It's hard to get by day to day. From what I know of you here you seem positive. Your brother sounds miserable, don't join him. Misery loves company. I hope you can stay strong enough to not be that company.

Disambiguating Cynosure said:

I would start a "Dacia Sandero" Thread - wow, CM, you remember that? It would be a simple CAR Thread, but I should warn anyone that I admire (some) Cars, but I have never ever driven anything. Just like I never rode a bike, gone on vacation, rode a horse, learned the piano, climbed a Mountain, swam a Sea... I hear the sound of melacholy Violins and thus shall end this Post now, *ahem!*...!

Lol, yeah, I remember! It could be a simple car thread, but we'd have to include the Sandero now! Some Lancias too please!

I can't drive either, never will be able to. I had a try, but I would be lethal. When I got my diagnosis I was told that it wasn't advised. I feel your frustration!

You might be able to hear melancholy violins, but you still have that air of mischief and fun, despite what's going on. Never change DC!

All my best thoughts,

Cloudy

Post edited to remove one extra swear word, Heather - Mod

Glad Tidings especially to those who replied, here. Sometimes some of us do appreciate even a little support given in this manner, and I am no exception...

The most pertinant answer out of all thus far is that from Cloudy Mountains. Yes, HE (my so-called Brother) has become sort of 'worse' at myself in the past few Years. I say Years, because what is going on with myself is like a very very slow erosion... Bad Dreams, bad life with HIM, and not really any solid proof. (No law-breaking, no assaults, as such.) Just me doing lots of Treading upon eggshells, avoidance, side-stepping, not triggering anything... just like how I would deal with a School Bully...!

The situation is very complex, hence my not really wanting to elaborate upon this forum. But the main thing is, I have not left Here yet, I do not intend to, and if I do, I shall keep my account open anyway (I have said that before). To answer Miss BlueRay... I "am" "OK", but I cannot guarantee that I "am going to be Ok"... like I said, it is like a steady Erosion of stabillity...!

I have my own strengths, I already know; but I am like the Winged WereCat that I often say that I am... but without Full Moon, I am a Human in a CAGE. (the bars are Pollution. And Levulose.)

End of... (I would start a "Dacia Sandero" Thread - wow, CM, you remember that? It would be a simple CAR Thread, but I should warn anyone that I admire (some) Cars, but I have never ever driven anything. Just like I never rode a bike, gone on vacation, rode a horse, learned the piano, climbed a Mountain, swam a Sea... I hear the sound of melacholy Violins and thus shall end this Post now, *ahem!*...!)

Thanks Again...   :-)

DC please look after yourself, 

I would dearly love to meet you one day, maybe we will?

 I want to copy and paste BlueRay’s words, they are as if my own towards how I feel about you,

 we grew to have an understanding, unique in many ways, but we kind of got each other enough to know we were both ok, 

I do hope and wish things improve for you not get worse, 

 your amazing and I know sometime times my getting to close I can cause you to scuttle off. 

( The rest of my reply to DC is below my reply to BlueRay, seems I pasted two replies instead of one, unable to move them about sorry)

______________________________________________________________

My reply to BlueRay was supposed to be and is in another thread but is fitting as it is about leaving)

BlueRay please don’t leave, you are entitled to your thoughts and beliefs as much as any one else, yes often misunderstandings occcur, How I see you is you are trying to be you, I am also aware  that takes a massive amount of courage,

 I can only try to believe in myself, my past dictates how  that will be, 

 carry on being you, if your words do sound as telling others , then so be it, it isn’t by the way, it is you trying to have strength in your belief in yourself, take that away and there is nothing, 

everyone on here tries as best we can to understand each other, we mostly all have underlying reasons to vent, how our beliefs are structured, we cope as best we can with whatever little we have left,

 some turn to religion in order to believe,

 some turn to hatred for those that slighted them, you need to have love , to deny those that throughout your life caused you pain and suffering, you need to let go of it, it is you being  you, you must do whatever you must to stop that, you are, it may not be what others need or agree with but I respect your beliefs because it is what YOU need and is all you can BE. 

 I do see how you think, I agree with most of it, not all, but I know you have spent eighteen months in complete and utter shut down, to arise from that like a phoenix you can only do, believe and be what you can. 

I accept all in here for who they are, I don’t need to agree with them, but they have as much right to exist as me.

 I hope we can all just stop and see that none of us wishes to upset another, we do our best, we support one another, we need to be strong, try to understand why each person holds there belief and see that as their way of coping, 

The many conversations we have wander off topic, why not, if the original post allows someone to talk freely about issues how they have then fine, it also allows me to see why they struggle or how they are trying to make sense of life, I too am struggling, I get support from people in here,

 long may it continue and can we have a massive group hug , without lots of misunderstandings.

 x()x()x()x()x()x()x()x

———————————————————————————————————

(The continuation of my reply to DC, seems I pasted two replies here? unable to move them to where they belong, First part to DC and the but above to BlueRay, both have meaning as both wish or may have to leave here,)

s I go to far with my words telling you how brilliant you are, I actually have to try and say less than what I believe, your just a good person who has a unique wit and ability to give kindness and understand in only the best way, your way, you, unique and winderful you.

 Now I imagine you running away as I have said to many kind things, sorry, but I am no threat what so ever to you, 8 just say what I see and believe in you. 

 Take care my FRIEND, and catch you soon. 

X()x

( heavily edited due to it being two separate replies, spelling was atrocious, typing fast, I hope it is now readable, I also hope we can all see that none of us deliberately try to cause upset, yes we struggle, but together we find strength, understanding, everyone brings something to this family, long may it continue. 

X()x,,,,,,,)

You’re can leaving the forum :( 

Hmm..... Data had his evil twin Lore after all, so folk wisdom may know something there. I don't know what is happening in your life, but would not envy anyone having to deal with someone from that other spectrum. I encountered a pretty sociopathic individual once and still feel decades later that my life would have been all the richer for not having got entangled, however briefly, with such a POS. 

There is a well-known,known neurologist, James Fallon, who claims to be a psychopath. His videos on You Tube a certainly interesting, he's written a book too, but maybe he likes the notoriety. His questions about whether he has any free will beyond his unfortunate neurology sound sincere though. 

I had a conversation with someone about it recently. There are a LOT of nonsensical opinions about autism on the internet. I had a coversation with someone recently, I think I mentioned it in a thread. They insisted that "people with AS are similar to sociopaths because they lack empathy". Myself and one of her closest friends are on the spectrum. I asked her to give examples of when she could think of when she'd seen this in me and her friend she couldn't name one. Still the conversation went on. I ended up saying "What's your excuse for having no empathy, are you a sociopath?", she asked what I meant. I said "Well you don't care about what you are saying or you do and are doing it regardless, maybe for effect". It pretty much ended that conversation. I got an apology the next day because they'd had a few drinks. They explained that they'd read some stuff on the internet, which explained a lot! 

The internet is not a good place to look for enlightenment sometimes, there's quite a lot of rubbish floating around there's one called Heartless Aspergers that is particularly stupid. People tend to bunch together, and echo each others bullshit in places. It can seem like that's the popular opinion, but in reality most of it is like an echo chamber. Don't worry about Quora and that other site. If you look for a negative opinion on anything on the internet you'll find it if that's what you are looking for. You'll find positive stuff too if that's what you are looking for.

Best thing we can do is just carry on being ourselves, people will base an opinion on us, not some bullshit on a wordpress site full of crap, or at best even our condition. People should always see the individual, and base their opinion on that. That's my opinion.

Sorry to hear about your situation, I have a few people with severe mental conditions in my family. It can be draining to be around, I don't know the situation with your brother, and I wouldn't expect you to get into it. I can only hope you will be OK.

Even though you post less frequently, I always look forward to reading your posts. You always seem full of beans, and positive. I really hope you don't leave, and that things get better. We never did start a Dacia Sandero thread!

All my best thoughts,

Cloudy