"NeuroDiversity"... means Psychopaths and Sociopaths, too (nowadays).

Glad Tidings especially to those who replied, here. Sometimes some of us do appreciate even a little support given in this manner, and I am no exception...

The most pertinant answer out of all thus far is that from Cloudy Mountains. Yes, HE (my so-called Brother) has become sort of 'worse' at myself in the past few Years. I say Years, because what is going on with myself is like a very very slow erosion... Bad Dreams, bad life with HIM, and not really any solid proof. (No law-breaking, no assaults, as such.) Just me doing lots of Treading upon eggshells, avoidance, side-stepping, not triggering anything... just like how I would deal with a School Bully...!

The situation is very complex, hence my not really wanting to elaborate upon this forum. But the main thing is, I have not left Here yet, I do not intend to, and if I do, I shall keep my account open anyway (I have said that before). To answer Miss BlueRay... I "am" "OK", but I cannot guarantee that I "am going to be Ok"... like I said, it is like a steady Erosion of stabillity...!

I have my own strengths, I already know; but I am like the Winged WereCat that I often say that I am... but without Full Moon, I am a Human in a CAGE. (the bars are Pollution. And Levulose.)

End of... (I would start a "Dacia Sandero" Thread - wow, CM, you remember that? It would be a simple CAR Thread, but I should warn anyone that I admire (some) Cars, but I have never ever driven anything. Just like I never rode a bike, gone on vacation, rode a horse, learned the piano, climbed a Mountain, swam a Sea... I hear the sound of melacholy Violins and thus shall end this Post now, *ahem!*...!)

Thanks Again...   :-)

Disambiguating Cynosure said:

The most pertinant answer out of all thus far is that from Cloudy Mountains. Yes, HE (my so-called Brother) has become sort of 'worse' at myself in the past few Years. I say Years, because what is going on with myself is like a very very slow erosion... Bad Dreams, bad life with HIM, and not really any solid proof. (No law-breaking, no assaults, as such.) Just me doing lots of Treading upon eggshells, avoidance, side-stepping, not triggering anything... just like how I would deal with a School Bully...!

Sounds pretty bad. Sorry to hear it DC. I think that's the worst kind of situation, the sort where it's all either covert or kept at a level where you can be deemed as the "instigator". I love my dad, and he's been there for me at times I needed him, but.........he literally has no control over his temper. None. He gets a free pass too because of his upbringing. He had two alcoholic parents, and took some serious physical abuse. His mom shoved a meat fork in his side, multiple times, amongst other things, lots. Everyone has to tread on eggshells, otherwise he goes into tirades, and gets physically threatening. Never gets physically abusive with women, but it's open season on most of the male members of the family. I'm not really one to listen to women getting called ***** for no reason, so I'm usually the one that challenges him. As a kid I got into some terrible fights with him, we'd smash each other to bits. Most of his tantrums usually stemmed from gambling losses or things that were nothing to do with us. I was always told "he learned it from his parents", like that's an excuse for resorting to violence over basically nothing. He seemed to mellow in old age, but after a few serious health scares, the devils back. From time to time he flies into insane rages, verbally abuses my mom, and breaks stuff. He's attacked me a few times, and I can hardly beat an ill 70 year old up. The problem is he's still fit enough to do damage, but not fit enough to take it back. Even restraining him could kill him. I dread visiting. It's not a regular thing, but frequent enough. The question I ask myself is that now he has health problems, is he using it as a tool to do what he couldn't 20 years earlier, because he can't get it back now. Still to this day I'm told about his upbringing, and that "He's 70 now, he's a lost cause". So I'm expected to just sit there, and put up with his ***. It's a situation I hate, we mostly get along, but you never know when he will fly into a rage. He doesn't drink, do any kind of drugs, or anything that would change his mental state. He's lucid, that's my problem, and he has a ready-made defence. I love my dad, but he's a ***. Worst thing is people make excuses for him being a ***, I won't, and I've told him. He's a coward. I love him, but I don't need to respect him.

I really do hope you get some peace. I know that looming threat. It's hard to get by day to day. From what I know of you here you seem positive. Your brother sounds miserable, don't join him. Misery loves company. I hope you can stay strong enough to not be that company.

Disambiguating Cynosure said:

I would start a "Dacia Sandero" Thread - wow, CM, you remember that? It would be a simple CAR Thread, but I should warn anyone that I admire (some) Cars, but I have never ever driven anything. Just like I never rode a bike, gone on vacation, rode a horse, learned the piano, climbed a Mountain, swam a Sea... I hear the sound of melacholy Violins and thus shall end this Post now, *ahem!*...!

Lol, yeah, I remember! It could be a simple car thread, but we'd have to include the Sandero now! Some Lancias too please!

I can't drive either, never will be able to. I had a try, but I would be lethal. When I got my diagnosis I was told that it wasn't advised. I feel your frustration!

You might be able to hear melancholy violins, but you still have that air of mischief and fun, despite what's going on. Never change DC!

All my best thoughts,

Cloudy

Post edited to remove one extra swear word, Heather - Mod

Morning.

its sad to know that there are some on the forum who have or are experiencing such trauma. Such treatment hurts and the autism means it can be challenging to deal with or rationalise WHY you should be treated in such a way.

is it because they can? Do I carry my vulnerabilities like a glowing beacon? Do I see the signs too late? Duped too easily into trusting others.. ? 

Thank you Sunflower. It’s a really good article and well expressed.

Bail was meant to run out this morning, but has been extended until March. I am also seeking an injunction..so that will be the first court date I’ll be dealing with.

look after yourself

ellie x

I know you know a lot of this stuff already, and I don't want to alarm you, but this article has lots of sensible suggestions about keeping yourself safe when you break up with a narcissist; 

https://thoughtcatalog.com/shahida-arabi/2017/03/this-is-what-happens-when-you-discard-an-abusive-narcissist-first/

Take care Ellie ()

Just added you LW. I couldn't read the message. For some reason you can only see the first few words on a request on tablet. Thanks for adding me!

Hi cloudy did you receive a request from me, I couldn’t PM you so added my words to a friend request, thank you .

Hi cloudy did you receive a request from me, I couldn’t PM you so added my words to a friend request, thank you .

Just added you LW. I couldn't read the message. For some reason you can only see the first few words on a request on tablet. Thanks for adding me!