Published on 12, July, 2020
I just wanted to let everyone know, that my GP has informed me that they have the request for funding in the bag. They have requested a referral date for the assessments to begin. I will use this thread to keep you all informed. I don't what else to say right now. I think that it will inspire me to write more poetry though. H.
This was written some years ago, I believe, I still think it is an interesting read, considering all that has transpired since then.
Reasons to be fearful part 3
HENDROW CHRISTIE·WEDNESDAY, 26 JULY 2017
Please please please, try and understand that it is not that I want to die or anything like that, I am ‘not well’ you may hear me say. I am just ‘LAZY’ Like my dad used to say, I hate it I [*******] hate feeling like this, why am I wasting more time, more of my life, looking for answers, what if I had a diagnosis that explained everything that is, and that has happened to me, I am so lethargic, right now-oh sorry, most of the time! it is so very very depressing, I do not assume that it is easy for normal people, but it’s just that it seems impossible for me at the bad times.
I have looked for years on and off, for an answer to ‘what is wrong with me?’ I have been in church (religion of sorts) That hasn’t worked. Now; because this thing works in cycles I am kind of okay right now, but that is utter [‘********’] I am tired of trying to be normal (Physically) or right (Mentally). I feel a bit better right now just for writing this down, I do feel that although in my case there is a hell of a lot of evidence to back up my case, I have an overwhelming feeling that this will not be accepted, what am I signing up for? What would I be losing, what would I gain?
It is a living ‘[*******] Hell’ most days when I am not well. I have always looked at this back to front, the wrong way around, i.e. Thinking that I am depressed and that makes me lethargic and lifeless. My point is what if I am lethargic and lifeless and that in turn is a depressing state to be in? It would cause me to ask yet again, what the ‘[*******] hell’ is wrong with me. It does now make sense, or is this yet another attempt (Of Mine) to escape taking responsibility, if I had a debilitating disease then maybe people wouldn’t expect so much from me (Including Me! I have no energy left to do anything, I ‘[*******] Hate It’ God know I do.) So hopefully you can see that it is not that I want to die.
REASONS TO BE FEARFUL PART 2
I want to live I realise I want to live!
I have lost my flow so it’s time to go,
What I feel only I know,
Am I the fool from this brand,
Who expects others to understand,
I’ve lost so much over the years,
I have lost touch and cried many tears,
It does make me look at myself with hate,
I am nobody's friend, no one’s mate,
Will I find somebody that comprehends,
The cycles I ride, it’s recent trend’s,
Trapped in this body that just won’t work,
My life is shoddy, I feel like a jerk,
Makes me feel like I am a child,
Whose innocence was stolen, when I was defiled,
Oh God, oh I wish I could be a man,
It cannot be done, without a plan,
Yes, as usual, it is all about ME,
Could that Freudian slip, set me free?
Sometimes I am blind or totally deaf,
There are times when I have nothing left,
I am just too much, is what they cry,
Just leave me alone and pass on by.
[Edited by Ayshe Mod]
The pressure is mounting.
I was told on Friday by a locum GP that it could be at least three weeks before I get an assessment date.
19 Days to go then, not that I am counting or anything, lol.
I am not sure if this will work? Test A1.
Thank you.
Hendrow said:I have been officially diagnosed as having ASD from birth. (They are looking into ADHD, I have been on the waiting list since 2017.)
Yay on the diagnosis poetical dude ~ and yay on the being back on the forum too!
Hi Ellie! great to hear about your first appointment too!
Congrats Hendrow I bet thats a relief, I got my diagnosis a year ago tomorrow and it was for me. Be kind to yourself, its a lot to take in and I'm still processing it 12 months on.
Congratulations Hendrow!! It is also great to have you back on the forum!! I have my first assessment appointment in March 2019!
And so it begins....... :)
I have been officially diagnosed as having ASD from birth. (They are looking into ADHD, I have been on the waiting list since 2017.)
Thanks Robert, I will keep you all informed.
Being in the support group means you don't have to look for work. Or be forced to attend regular meetings.
Copied From the government website.
Following your Work Capability Assessment you’ll be placed in either the work-related activity group or support group if you’re entitled to ESA.
You must go to regular interviews with an adviser who can help with things like job goals and improving your skills.
You don’t have to go to interviews, but you can ask to talk to a personal adviser. You’re usually in this group if your illness or disability severely limits what you can do.