Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello everyone. I would like to ask a question regarding how to deal with parents who are suffering from age-related deafness. I recently bought some earplugs so I can spend a bit more time with them without having a meltdown, or causing a general argument but I am unsure what to do. I tried the earplugs and they don't seem to work very well. Obviously, I may have to try a range of them before I find some I like, or, alternatively, buy some noise-cancelling headphones, but, can I ask how anyone else deals with a situation like this? Do I leave the room, making myself more distant to them, at times, or should it be up to me to accomodate them because I live with them? It's very difficult for me to work out the best course of action that causes the minimum amount of upset for everyone. Thanks for any advice.
Hi, and thank you for the advice. Sadly, my parents are not really open to changing their behaviour for me, but they have become a little more understanding regarding how I feel. I am still in the process of seeking a diagnosis as to whether I am on the autistic spectrum(in many ways I am scared that it will be decided that I am not on the spectrum, but I still believe that I am), and my belief that I am on the spectrum came out of nowhere, after reading everything I possibly could about autism and asperger's syndrome.
Since my mother started going deaf they have started talking much louder than they used to, yes, and that is exacerbated by the fact that my mother needs the tv volume louder than she used to. My hearing is still good enough to hear a text come through on my phone when I am downstairs, and my phone is upstairs, with all the doors closed too, so I think that definitely adds to the problem.
Hopefully, when I am finally diagnosed we will all come to terms with it, eventually, and learn to live together so that everyone is happy.
Thank you again for your message and advice.
That is a tricky situation. I do understand a little bit as My father (who has aspergers and sound sensitvity) is going deaf. This is great for him in some ways as he is less affected by noises, but it does mean he has his music & T.V. up really loud. I myself have A.S.C. & suffer from noise sensitivity and the first thing I have to do, when I visit him, is turn the T.V. off. thankfully I dont live with him, but I sympathise. So here are some possible suggestions, which may be completely useless but...
do they talk really loundly? or is it just that they have the tv/radio up loud? You can get wireless headphones that have a unit that plugs into the TV/music system, and allows the wearer to walk about, listen to there chosen level of noisy entertainment. and allows others to enjoy the slience. Would your parents consider wearing these if you explained that they have the volume up so high it is affecting you? or get them to talk more quietly?
I know this sounds bonkers, but could you learn all learn sign languge? I wear ear defenders about the house (as I have a crying baby who unfortunately does not have a mute button) my husband accepts this as the alternative is me having meltdowns where I am no good to anyone. and he has quite naturally started to communicate with my more visualy. which I find easier to understand. wondering if this might work in some instances.
I use these noise cancelling ear plugs, which I recommend, they are quite expensive, but needs must.
www.boots.com/.../
www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=sr_1_1
There ear defenders are good. and interestignly the good thing about these is that it is obvious you are wearing them & so others have to modify there behaviour towards you.
www.amazon.co.uk/.../ref=sr_ph
Best of luck!