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Does anyone else with ASD ever feel like they irritate people?

TwelveTwelve

Apologies if this seems like an odd question!

But does anyone with ASD ever feel like they irritate people? Friends, family, colleagues etc. Sometimes the feedback I get is that I "give off a vibe" that possibly seems like I am dis interested or annoyed, I'm not, but it seems to create an environment where lately I feel like I annoy people for simply being myself.

I'm pretty sure I really struggle to recognize emotion in other people, and I worry that might mean I miss the mark, but I don't know what is my ASD and what is other people's general issues. Has anyone had any similar experiences? Do other folks on here with ASD ever feel like this? 

I don't want to irritate people obviously, but I also don't want to blame my ASD on something completely unassociated, and I especially don't want to think people are irritated when they are not, it's just my poor understanding of reading peoples emotions!

  • in reply to Alien0n3arth

    Thanks for replying! It would be interesting to hear what a therapist says. You also make a great point, its past feedback that may have made me think I instinctively annoy people. 

    It seems to be worse at the minute because of the football, people love talking about it, and I couldn't care less. I don't watch football, I don't follow football and I find it a waste of time talking about it. People look at me like I am an alien when I say that. I'm not saying it to upset people, I love that they love it and that it brings joy to them, I just think it's a waste of time. But then I worry that people think I am being dismissive. 

  • in reply to Expecto_Patronum

    Thanks for replying! There is a trend developing on this thread that it seems to be the case we feel like we annoy people! Exactly the same as you, I normally pick it up from a vibe and then I can't move forward with my week without because I'm stuck in a loop of worry. I can often make it worse because I ultimately always have to ask if whoever it may be if I have annoyed them, and unless they say yes, I can't make sense of it all. 

  • in reply to DarkElf

    Hi Darkelf, its interesting you also worry you annoy people! Sometimes I will say things and I either know it instantly is not recieved well, or sometime later someone may reference it as a point of contention. Frustratingly, in my own mind I know I didn't mean it to offend or upset,  but struggle to convey that. 

    When it's close family and friends, it crushes me, and all I do is overthink after the fact. Then when someone says "you said this, and it upset, offended or annoyed me" it feels like I'm being gaslit because I know for a fact I didn't mean it that way. But I think thats my interpretation of the conversation, as I am starting to realise it probably is me and I need to be more careful in what I say. 

    I guess that may be a part of ASD? 

  • Yes I get the impression I irritate people a lot. They never say it but certain interactions and reactions give me that vibe. Then I get stuck in a loop of worry because I'm also not very good at reading people so maybe I'm misinterpreting it.

  • Yes, it's my persistent problem and I'm gonna talk about it to my therapist next week. I've got so many times a negative feedback,  that I overthink instinctively if I annoyed anyone. But I don't dare asking much, to not annoy others.

  • in reply to Homebird

    Hi Homebird, thanks for replying! I also probably spend way to much time worrying about it! 

  • Yes often feel like that, spend time worrying about it, then I try to avoid situations in case I have irritated.

  • I have been referred to as aloof or cold a lot around people. Online I can be seen as somewhat opposite. From my experience we don't miss the mark/cues as much as we fear we do, at least for me anyway. I do worry I annoy people though.