‘Let it go’ how????

In my experience most people do not change their minds about things when you try to ‘persaude them’ and/or argue about them. In case I think it can sometimes make people stick to their own view even more stubbornly when you keep pushing them to adopt your own point of view. All that happens is that people dig in further to their ‘side’ - and it causes lots of tension and it’s often exhausting and fruitless. 
I think you could ask yourself: is this good for me? Does doing this actually help anyone or anything? And is it actually causing me harm in terms of stress and the energy you’re expending on it. Be honest with yourself: is this a helpful or unhelpful thing that you are doing? Does it make you feel better or worse? And is it achieving anything? It might be that when you are really think about this deeply you’ll come to a conclusion about what the best course of action is. 

Thank you this is a good outlook to think about 

I agree with you. I really try not to get caught up or even start the conversation/argument in the first place, but sometimes I get so frustrated and can’t stop myself 

"Many of the truths we cling to depend heavily on our own point of view" (Obi Wan Kenobi)

The Belief Web: NT beliefs are symbolic, which is to say NTs generally think and believe in terms of culturally defined symbols... An assumption that "Beethoven is great" could exist in the mind of someone who has not come to that conclusion himself, but has picked up on the belief in the exact same way that he picked up the meaning of words as a child by hearing others use them. In that way, "Beethoven is great" becomes a cultural truth that is nearly universally accepted and rarely evaluated. (A field guide to earthlings by Ian Ford)

NTs are also mostly influenced by people who are good at influencing others. Autistic people rarely have that skill. Even amongst autistic people there can be differences of opinion on what is true, for example some people might go vegan as their truth is that all farming of animals is cruel. But to others, even those who consider the facts dispassionately rather than following a cultural belief, their truth may be that it is ok to farm animals as we are naturally omnivores, as long as the animals are given sufficient food, water, shelter, space and health care and not treated cruelly.

I understand your passion as I was a keen supporter of animal rights charities in the late 1970s - I signed petitions against animal testing and bought cosmetics from companies that didn't test on animals. But if people don't want to hear you, it's almost impossible to make them listen.

My advice would be to hold true to your beliefs and be active in lobbying your MP about things your are passionate about and signing petitions, but try to accept that trying to make people believe your truths may cause more hassle for you than it's worth. If you want to have good family relationships, it's necessary to focus on what you have in common and allow for differences of opinion. 

Ems said:

Once someone has done or said something I don’t agree with it’s all I see in them.

Do you think this is acceptable behaviour on your part?

The reason I ask is that you engage in the discussions on subjects you disagree on but only you develop this hyperfocus on the one thing they and you don't agree on. You have effectively reduced that person to the one point on a subject that you personally disagree with - does this seem healthy?

From what you describe you have a real issue in accepting that there are views contrary to yours and yours are the only ones of worth.

Look at the president of the USA and his approach - he takes the same approach. I'm sure he believes he is right too. You see why such extreme approaches to right/wrong are going to cause problems?

Once you can start to realise the problematic nature of this reduction of others then you can start on working through how to develop a healthier approach to it but it will take some sort of therapist to help you build up a healthier view - find ways to be more self critical and accept the viewpoints of others, even if they may be abhorrent to you.

You don't have to accept others as being right - just accept that they have the right to their views, however poorly informed, biassed or idiotic they may seem.

This will not change your passion for your beliefs, just how you co-exist with others.

You recognise it is a problem so get a professional to help.

I guess I think that no matter how much I try to change someone else's views. No matter how passionate. How logical. How persuasive. Most of the time, I ain't going to change another person's world view.

That said. I think it is so important to be authentic and not let go of what is important to us. 

I love this quote from Temple Grandin. I have removed part of the quote, but the remaining part is what makes me smile. 

"You would have a bunch of people standing around in a cave, chatting and socializing and not getting anything done.” – Temple Grandin

So I do try to let things go. But I am old now and have let things go (a little). Like that ?Autistic Icon Elsa. Sometimes, let it go.

Ultimatly a lot of arguments come down to really fundamental value judgments. Anmal rights is a perfect example of this. It tends to come down to whether or not you belive animals have a 'soul' or what ever other quality you belive diferentiates humans from say a very clever computer. Is it the ability to feel pain? Depending on how you define pain plents feel pain. You can come up with multipul defintions and theories to explain what makes humans special and depending on your belifes here animals might be a valuble as a squishy organic toster or almost as valuble as a human being.

Unless you can aproch it very ceribraly without taking offence it's best not to get too caught up in the argument.

When you've changed the world for the better, you can ease off a bit maybe.   Perhaps they should be proud that you care?  

I don't think you are doing anything wrong - it's a shame more people don't stand up.


I guess you could try & present things in a non-confrontational way (rather than to appear as if you are looking for an argument)  but facts are facts, and if people want to deny them, they ought to expect a response.  

Just say 'with all due respect' before you start.   It might work! 

Thank you. It’s just really hard when it affects the relationship with my family. I don’t know where to draw the line 

I can think of a few reasons why you shouldn't let it go...

I think being politically aware & caring about causes is extremely important, especially in the world we face today. 

We need more people not to let it go.   

Too many let it go, and while many go to sleep, lunatics with their twisted egocentric agendas end up in power.  

So well done, keep at it, and take no notice.  That's my advice !