‘Let it go’ how????

well the alternative if you can't keep quiet is to try and develop that really ceribral aproch. Think less heated argument and more debate club. In fact I think a lot of autistic peope would benifit from joining a debate club ... actually almost everyone would. It should probably be compulsory in schools or something, formal debating.

Thank you for highlighting that this can be a good thing!

A strong sense of justice is one of the 10 Autistica examples of Autistic strengths:

https://www.autistica.org.uk/what-is-autism/autistic-strengths

Sometimes I have worked in roles where that strength was welcomed and harnessed for the wider good (in some other roles the culture / ethos was quite the opposite...and I had to learn to keep my own counsel in those settings).

sapphic princess said:

I know that it’s wrong of me to hold things against people

I think it is the fact you are a principled person that makes you say this.  There's a loyalty toward family, regardless of what they say, yet it makes you angry if they aren't willing to debate. 

In a way you should congratulate yourself.  It is hard managing your world view and your family - and giving thought to both - many can see only one or the other.   It doesn't mean you should abandon one to favour the other though. 

mrs.snooks said:

there is hope you may die young at eighty

I appreciate your sentiment here.

I'm sure you knew what I was driving at.  Diluting radical ideas makes us Liberal at best, and it always seems that those with the non-establishment ethos must reach out to compromise with the status quo.  

People should be fortunate to have free thinkers - activists - radicals - dare I say - leftists in their midst...   not seek to silence them or dampen their spirit.  

Then there's some (not meaning here) that feel threatened by young people and their new ideas, so would seek to shut them down.  Let it go seems remarkably close to that.   

I wonder if any of us oldies have really learned to let it go? If so, then we can say to these principled young people (our younger-selves). I respect your choices. Or will we argue our point of view?

 sapphic princess overwhelmed & underwhelmed (overwhelmed) If you are not  infact younger than me after all, please see the poem at the bottom by Samuel Ullman. Best wishes. Mrs Snooks.

This is from me:

If I argue the point, I am giving up remembering:

When I bought not tested on animal skin-care products.

When I argued with my cousin about banning nuclear warships in my country (still in place in NZ)

When I protested along the main road of my city about student fees. 

When I refused to buy a coat that wasn't ethically sourced.

Youth is not a time of life; it is a state of mind; it is not a matter of rosy cheeks, red lips and supple knees; it is a matter of the will, a quality of the imagination, a vigor of the emotions; it is the freshness of the deep springs of life.

Youth means a temperamental predominance of courage over timidity of the appetite, for adventure over the love of ease. This often exists in a man of sixty more than a boy of twenty. Nobody grows old merely by a number of years. We grow old by deserting our ideals.

Years may wrinkle the skin, but to give up enthusiasm wrinkles the soul. Worry, fear, self-distrust bows the heart and turns the spirit back to dust.

Whether sixty or sixteen, there is in every human being's heart the lure of wonder, the unfailing child-like appetite of what's next, and the joy of the game of living. In the center of your heart and my heart there is a wireless station; so long as it receives messages of beauty, hope, cheer, courage and power from men and from the infinite, so long are you young.

When the aerials are down, and your spirit is covered with snows of cynicism and the ice of pessimism, then you are grown old, even at twenty, but as long as your aerials are up, to catch the waves of optimism, there is hope you may die young at eighty.

Thank you, it’s definitely worth thinking about 

Thank you for this. I know that it’s wrong of me to hold things against people but I find it so hard to let go when Things go against my morals or beliefs that I believe to be rational, especially in this instance when it involes animals. 

Some are advising you to compromise on your principles- or at least your tone - because others don't like them. 

To me that's like agreeing just to eat meat twice a week rather than not at all to save a family row. 

Most people aren't political or radical. Once they've gone past the news headlines, they've had enough. They don't want detail.  If you start to bombard them with facts, their brains get overheated. This 'let it go' to me is code for them saying the subject is too heavy. 

The world needs people with a social conscience. It shouldn't shame people who have ethics and morals into dampening them down to appease the masses.  It should celebrate these individuals as forward-thinking and revolutionary. 

I realise people are offering ways that 'could' make life easier and less confrontational, but if you've got that fire of injustice in your soul, then I see it as something to be celebrated. 

I’m glad I’m not the only one! I find it so hard to let go of the argument afterwards especially when it never seems like anything is resolved 

I will definitely think about this!!!

“Of course, I say this with immense affection, respect, and only in jest!”

I've got a really very good idea! What if you were to say (in a really very posh accent): "With all due respect, you're stupid." "Your argument is so very poorly structured that it caused me to physically sweat - which is really very rare indeed. (I should know, I don't have pores.) So, in my really very humble, modest and righteous opinion - it is of my belief that you possess the intellectual properties of a slighty oxidised cut-copper stair." (In whispered voice): "Dear Mr. Cut-Copper Stair, I am really very sorry for insulting you in such a horrid manner." "Perhaps you would like some more creasote?" 

I am similar to you in that I have a strong sense of justice that can come to the fore when people are being persecuted, slandered or treated badly. This can extend to other things such as animal welfare, politics and climate change. 

I think as I’ve got older I have learned to think of the other person as divided into several boxes, with the ‘wrong’ or ‘bad’ bits making up only a tiny proportion of the whole person. Just because I disagree with some bits doesn’t take away from the person’s inherent value as a human, and if humans are valuable, they are worth more than their opinion or action. To think this way takes huge amounts of effort so usually it’s a case of taking deep breaths/biting my lip until enough time has passed to process the situation.

I don’t always find it easy, but sometimes it’s better to walk away and hold on to your principles. Of course, that doesn’t mean you need to be a walkover if you feel your opinion is called for. Some people seem to be better than others at assessing a situation and intervening in a way that doesn’t annoy people, but many of us aren’t. Confrontation tends not to be effective anyway - better to think of a way to direct your passion in a positive direction.

I am very much the same, as of when someone (or rather somebody!) proposes something which I think to be either stupid, idiotic or merely ill-informed I will (really quite unintentionally) lecture them on as to how wrong they are for a really very long time indeed - to the point by which it becomes very annoying and (really quite often) upsetting for the other person, and then afterward engage in an unpleasant verbal-based spar. I am completely unaware that I do this, and only know that I do so as of the other person becoming (to put it in the mildest of manners) not very happy, and angrily shouting at me - so that I will stop! And, even after the initial conversation has subsided, I cannot seem to "drop it" (which I think to be a really very good think actually, because really quite often the such topics of conflict are left both unresolved and unsolved) and will often continue speaking, much to my own detrement - and ultimate peril! What I often do to deal with this is to wear a T-shirt which simply states: "I'm not arguing! I'm just explaining as to why I'm right - and as to why you're wrong!" ("And I'm, of course, perfectly righteous because I own a sentient jar of oxidised maramalade - which ultimately makes me superior.") In all seriousness, I usually try to distract myself from the such topic, and really quite decreetly, a later stage, perhaps when the such person is asleep, restate my viewpoint so that I can subliminally message them into agreeing with me! And really very luckily I so happen to be right. :-)

That’s good that you had friends to help you out. Perhaps luckily for me I only get into these situations/arguments with my family. Althoigh there has been many times I’ve wanted to with people I don’t know

sapphic princess said:

I just wanted to know if anyone else experienced the same thing

Absolutely - I used to get into all sorts of social trouble at university for being unyielding in my views. Luckily I had some friends that really spelled it out for me then and I took a big step back and started listening and asking more so I could understand other peoples viewpoints and, probably somewhat maliciously, made them expose the failings in their own arguements while explaining their views.

I left on poor Jehovas witness in tears when he tried to persuade me about his view on God and I used my athiest viewpoint to get them to admit their perspective was based on hope and an organisation that profited rom their efforts.

Not my finest hour.

Thank you I will definitely think on those questions 

Thank you for your advice. I generally try not to bring things up with people who I know don’t agree, but it’s hard not to comment and speak my beliefs when it’s brought up by them. 

I agree with you. I know it’s not good for me to think like that but I get really caught up in not letting things go and always seeing people for the way they have wronged me or others. I know this is bad and not healthy. I just wanted to know if anyone else experienced the same thing or had any advice on how to overcome it. It’s definitely something I will add to the list of things I need to discuss in therapy so thank you