Autism thing?

Thing is, it’s nothing new - it seems to come from some kind of (unwritten) “chav” or “scally” “moral code” with which we are supposed to comply (without thinking) therefore demonstrating our “cop on” or “common sense” and to comply with certain unwritten standards of behavior and certain unwritten rules which we should already know without having to be told, that if we are noticed and need to be shouted at, we are deemed to be “wrong” in some way - it’s like the same kind of attitude that believes that the only way to manage autism and other mental health/disability issues is ultra strict discipline, thought control, mind control and someone with these hidden disabilities, that person needs to be “bullied out of” them “for their own good” because it is deemed to come from a “negative” attitude - even this exchange explains why there is still such a lack of progress in society’s issues towards mental health issues and hidden disabilities and autism and why people will still refuse to understand and refuse to be educated on many of these issues - this is why I have over many years very gradually come to the understanding and conclusion that all leftist ideologies like leftism, Marxism, socialism, communism, fascism and even globalism are so divisive, harmful and dangerous to western society and western civilisation 

Many supermarket managers in particular have family connections to the milltary, police, Royal Mail and leftist controlled councils, living in council houses and they have serious attitude problems - while making it look like they are doing so on merit, they get their relatives and extended families into certain jobs and they are all related to each other - in management positions, power goes to their heads, they become totally arrogant and they constantly go on power trips - I’ve seen supermarket managers screaming at full volume at other members of staff in front of customers on the shop floor and in more recent versions of this, I’ve seen staff being verbally attacked by managers, who when they attempt to defend themselves are told to “be quiet” on the shop floor in front of customers, including by other members of staff who are in little cliques or covens where some other members of staff are singled out to be the “whipping boy” and are regarded as a “special project” by managers and those staff in the “clique” alike (all of which is of course denied outside of this) 

half the time i just respond with a flat "no" and nothing more to throw them off

Men used to say that to me a lot when I worked at Tescos and I was sat at an empty till doing nothing. I was either bored and/or daydreaming. One time I was actually going through a really bad time and just gave him a death glare and he got really arsey about it. I don’t understand why people say that because if someone started crying that they were grieving they wouldn’t actually care, they’d make some sort of sarcastic sorry I asked comment

Random people shouting at others in the street is quite shocking, I've had various things shouted at me over the years, or muttered at me. The worst one was when my then16 year old daughter and I were walking into town and some bloke walking past us said' why don't you put her down you effing old ***'. Needless to say he got a lot more than he bargained for as both of us turned on him and told him just how wrong he was. It's just not what you expect at around 11am on a saturday morning.

I think some people just have no boundaries at all or maybe a few have tourettes, but they shoud all wind thier necks in. The thing with starting something like that on the street is you're making a lot of assumptions about the person you're shouting at, the person who's just been insulted could be a total nutter with a knife.

Yep, I’ve been told I have a resting b*%#$ face quite a lot. It doesn’t bother me though, hopefully it unwittingly keeps people away from me. 

I think this is something that a lot of people experience, not just autists.

In the past, I have had it said to me and my response has been to glare at the person who has said it, or just completely ignore it, unless it has been said by someone I know.

Rarely, sometimes at work (long before I 'knew') but even then I felt offended by the intrusion. I think that The Normies, as I appear to have started referring to them, may also consider this a way of connecting?

I mostly seem to avoid this by having a visible disability, maybe they think it has already happened for me. Though that then changes the question to "what's wrong with you?" and I sigh in exhaustion, as I really don't want to scan down my body and tell you about the various surgeries I've had... I really need to get on with my day.

I’ve worked in supermarkets for 30 years and bullying supermarket colleuages and managers are the worst for this - if you don’t have a “painted on smile” 24/7, even in staff areas, the milltary command to “shut up moaning” is screamed at full volume, as well as a tirade of abusive names involving lots of swear words and you are not ever allowed to respond in any way, in fact it will make it much worse, because they believe that you need to be “taken down a peg or ten” “put in your place” and “knocked back” “because “they say so” and “kept in check” and other colleagues will join in the unofficial disciplinary for “being negative” - since Covid, I’ve heard that the supermarkets in particular have become even worse for this behaviour and people who have been bullied have even less of a leg to stand on and zero recourse to any justice 

I have no idea what my 'resting face' is like. I just know that IRL I tend not to make a good impression.

I get this a lot in my socially deprived, Labour controlled, working class area in Manchester, in the same circumstances as you describe, but with (shouted aggressively for no reason) commands and instructions from random strangers, usually passing by in cars or on bikes, in a very forceful and aggressive tone, to “shut up moaning” and this happens all the time, both before and after Covid, before and after my diagnosis 

Some of us just have a resting *** face, I do get told to cheer up because it may never happen, I used to live near a road where there were a couple of blokees who were always saying it to random people, it seemed especially cruel as at the end of that road was a vet, a maternity unit and an oncology unit, so for some of those people "it" would of happened.

People sayiing that to me, hit's an almost instant kill switch in my brain and steam starts coming out of my ears and my fists curl, and insults start to form in my mouth, I do tell people to go and do things with lots of FF's in them, but I've never actaully hit anyone yet, maybe next time I will?

I find it an incredibly rude and horrible things to say, I find it's something more likely to be adressed to women than men and by men too.

I’ve had the same happen to me. My wife watches breakfast Tv in the mornings, the hosts have permanent grins when not talking, I find this actually more strange.

When you have a resting (unmasked) expression that looks either miserable of extremely annoyed it can be an occupational risk. 

It is a mystery why people feel the need to comment, maybe do the same to the overweight, people that are less than esthetically pleasing to look at or people with visible disabilities.

Obviously they are all slim, attractive complete joys to be around.

Sadly, yes, I experienced that scenario in a large supermarket.  I am pleased to say it is not a commonplace thing to experience - but yes, it does happen sometimes.

(I do not believe it was said in a supportive context or from an intent of concern for my welfare.  Just somebody bored in a supermarket effectively entertaining themself at the expense of another shopper).

I ignored it in terms of any reaction or response (well, on the exterior).

Interior ...I was furious, as I knew I was doing my best - in the uber-hostile environment of the largest supermarket in our area, on the way home from work.

What a charmer, not.

I have just thought of a response, "I'm not being paid to be happy/a clown/ a comedian."

I agree. Why should I have to smile and look happy to a NT. I am perfectively happy and mulling over life and how I look is nobody's business.

"It already has!" with a smirk.

Helloi,

It’s understandable that you find such comments intrusive and frustrating. Many autistic individuals share similar experiences where strangers make unsolicited remarks about their facial expressions or demeanor. This can feel like an invasion of personal space and autonomy.

flying together

You certainly don’t owe anyone an explanation or a change in your expression. It’s perfectly valid to feel resentful about the expectation to conform to others’ standards. If you’re looking for a response, you might consider something simple and polite, like, “I’m fine, thank you,” or even just a nod and a smile if you feel up to it. But remember, it’s entirely your choice how you respond, and it’s okay to prioritize your comfort.

Best Regards

nestorg780