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Neurodivergent confusion?

NAS95392

Hi, this is my first post..

I have been informed that I have a high possibility of ADHD and autism, and in the last 5-6 weeks I have been going through the process of unmasking. This journey has been painstaking, confusing and just downright exhausting. I feel as if every basic task, visit, errands, even just sound of my busy household pushes me into a deep burnout/meltdown.

I guess I'm asking you lovely people how you managed 'stability' if that's the correct term to use

  Thank you in advance 

  • I just live with my partner. We are very laid back, and we just take our time to do things. If we're not up to doing a task at the moment, then we won't do it during that time, and we'll just go back to it later when we have the energy for it. Running errands just means a nice walk to the store at non-busy hours, buy some things, and come back home. 

    I usually set automatic payments whenever possible. I made the end of the month as "the sign" to spend like 10 minutes to do the "adult stuff" and pay things off, before I resort back to my childish ways. 

    I think that having your own systems and methods in place that works for you, would be better than doing things on everyone else's time and expectations of you. I mean if it's work or a job that's different because they're giving you money to do tasks for them, but if it's for home, why would it be structured like a work environment? Where's the rest and recuperation you and everyone else needs? Yes there's things you need like food and some basic neccessities, but it shouldn't be doom and gloom to get those things.  

  • NAS95392 said:
    This journey has been painstaking, confusing and just downright exhausting.

    Welcome to the site.

    I would suggest slowing down the pace you are unmasking as the impact seems severe.

    Many here have been going through their unmasking journey over the course of years in order to manage their own mental health so it may benefit you to change the pace to match the energy available for the challenge.

    Also remember that sudden changes in behavour tend to make other people nervous so going slowly is less likely to make you appear out of character and hence have people asking if you are OK.

    NAS95392 said:
    I feel as if every basic task, visit, errands, even just sound of my busy household pushes me into a deep burnout/meltdown.

    This does imply you are not preserving enough energy to function normally - my advice would be to put it on pause, take time and indulge in the things that let you recharge and then start again when you feel good enough to take another swing at it.

    There are some things you can do like wearing noise cancelling headphones to reduce the impact of noise etc - let us know where you are struggling and we can give you a few pointers if you wish.