Published on 12, July, 2020
I wanted to express this here to see whether I'm not the only one who experiences this. I'm diagnosed with autism but I strongly believe I have ADHD too. My dad is diagnosed with ADHD and we think he might also be autistic. When I was young my ADHD experience was internalized (and mostly still is) and since I wasn't stereotypically bouncing of the walls, this went unnoticed by many.
With me, my autism can cause me to hermitize and feel nervous about going out. What I believe to be my ADHD is strongly sensory seeking and quite gregarious as times, so when I go out (which is not often) I can be the memory of the night so to speak. I can also be very "all or nothing" if that makes sense. This experience can be challenging because I have the mental ability to understand how nuanced how life is in general, and it's this nuance that makes things more interesting.
I crave stimulus but can then feel overwhelmed by it. I strongly believe (and know through research) that ADHD brains are highly susceptible to addiction due to our natural dopamine levels. I'm lucky enough to have been raised in an environment where drugs were not a go to for me, and I don't overlook this. My phone has been the source of my overload and inevitable crash, especially TikTok. The dopamine hit I gain is strong but afterwards I feel lethargic and unable to form coherent thoughts. I can also experience headaches.
I've been managing my screen time better and feel more connected to the present moment, which is nice. I hope that some of this also allows others to relate.
My goodness I relate to this so much. Especially the not being able to go out but being the life and soul of the party when you do.
Wow that post was real. Thank you so much. Its like autism and ADHD are two totally diametrically opposed things going on in the same brain.
Like I crave businesses and human company but equally need to rest, take things slowly and avoid too much social interaction
Its like being hot and cold or hungry and bloated at the same time. Completely contradictory things going on in the same brain
Ha you just described me. I'm a genius but I am very close to losing my mind. I make sure to always be kind to people but damn I don't even know what's going ojn anymore. Am I here to serve someone? I'm crazy.
I question things all too much, which is a blessing and a curse. It allows me to see through things that others take at face value and not inquire more about. However, it leaves me struggling a lot to find purpose in life. I went through a period of investigating different religions to see which ones aligned with my own beliefs. All of them are beautiful in their own way and offer a humble and purposeful approach to life, however I struggled to really 'get into' any of them, if that makes sense.
The atheistic worldview makes the most sense for my brain, but I'm not narrow-minded and understand that transcendental beliefs can be extremely powerful for other people. Many of the people I get on with are religious, and they know I'm an atheist. They open up to me about their worldview and principles, which is nice.
Ultimately for me, the purpose of life is to find purpose and to try to make it a better place for others. I think this is a philosophy in it's own right, it might be existentialism?