Published on 12, July, 2020
I wanted to express this here to see whether I'm not the only one who experiences this. I'm diagnosed with autism but I strongly believe I have ADHD too. My dad is diagnosed with ADHD and we think he might also be autistic. When I was young my ADHD experience was internalized (and mostly still is) and since I wasn't stereotypically bouncing of the walls, this went unnoticed by many.
With me, my autism can cause me to hermitize and feel nervous about going out. What I believe to be my ADHD is strongly sensory seeking and quite gregarious as times, so when I go out (which is not often) I can be the memory of the night so to speak. I can also be very "all or nothing" if that makes sense. This experience can be challenging because I have the mental ability to understand how nuanced how life is in general, and it's this nuance that makes things more interesting.
I crave stimulus but can then feel overwhelmed by it. I strongly believe (and know through research) that ADHD brains are highly susceptible to addiction due to our natural dopamine levels. I'm lucky enough to have been raised in an environment where drugs were not a go to for me, and I don't overlook this. My phone has been the source of my overload and inevitable crash, especially TikTok. The dopamine hit I gain is strong but afterwards I feel lethargic and unable to form coherent thoughts. I can also experience headaches.
I've been managing my screen time better and feel more connected to the present moment, which is nice. I hope that some of this also allows others to relate.
Me too! I didn't realise it was a 'thing'! I can be completely exhausted at a party but still be motivating everyone to get up and dance or karaoke. I do the crazy funny stuff. My brain is constantly dinging about making connections it's like living with a constant hum.
All I can do is pace myself and make sure I have a balance. I need some people contact to 'get going' but I also need alone time every day to get rid of their stuff. I need stimulation of puzzles and Lego build sets, but I also need total absorption of designing/making something new which consumes all brain power.
I've always been mindful of the addictive personality, as it caused problems in my family - drink, smoking, gambling - so I can say I'm addicted to sugar and processed foods. I do still eat them, but I am mindful and conscious of it, rather than feeding an addiction. Not sure where the controlling it fits in, that might be an addiction to control... but it feels like the lesser of several evils.
I question things all too much, which is a blessing and a curse. It allows me to see through things that others take at face value and not inquire more about. However, it leaves me struggling a lot to find purpose in life. I went through a period of investigating different religions to see which ones aligned with my own beliefs. All of them are beautiful in their own way and offer a humble and purposeful approach to life, however I struggled to really 'get into' any of them, if that makes sense.
The atheistic worldview makes the most sense for my brain, but I'm not narrow-minded and understand that transcendental beliefs can be extremely powerful for other people. Many of the people I get on with are religious, and they know I'm an atheist. They open up to me about their worldview and principles, which is nice.
Ultimately for me, the purpose of life is to find purpose and to try to make it a better place for others. I think this is a philosophy in it's own right, it might be existentialism?
Thank you all for your responses, I'm glad that I don't feel alone and in turn I've helped other people also not feel this way.
Your not crazy. You just have two contradictory halves of your brain clashing with each other
I dont know if your here to serve someone. Im a Christian so personally I belive we are all here to know Jesus and make the world a better place for others so that gives me a purpose in life. Even though I still feel like Im losing my mind from how confusing my head and the world is sometimes. I do get some level of sanity and peace from that
My son is the same. Like for instance he desperately wants a birthday party but 2 weeks later he still hasnt got over how overwhelmed he was at the social interaction of going to his friends birthday party. Its the same contradiction
Ha you just described me. I'm a genius but I am very close to losing my mind. I make sure to always be kind to people but damn I don't even know what's going ojn anymore. Am I here to serve someone? I'm crazy.
My goodness I relate to this so much. Especially the not being able to go out but being the life and soul of the party when you do.
Wow that post was real. Thank you so much. Its like autism and ADHD are two totally diametrically opposed things going on in the same brain.
Like I crave businesses and human company but equally need to rest, take things slowly and avoid too much social interaction
Its like being hot and cold or hungry and bloated at the same time. Completely contradictory things going on in the same brain
Long before diagnosis I recognised the same paradox in my, craving company but not wanting to socialise. I think now perhaps it'll be more accurate to say I want to have a connection with a human being, but am aware that getting that with a NeuroT individual (who are the majority) is slim.
Fortunately I'm spending more and more time wit NeuroD people which make the moments of connections more and more common, plus I'm more and more open with all about my autism and how it effects my world perception. So i'm more capable of recognising when I'm doing something, or when I've received some information which upsets me etc. becoming more familiar with autism helps me to call out these things when they happen and put in strategies.
Like - TheCatWoman, I'm not much on social media, although my NeuroD children are, and for one the ability to connect with others across the globe has been her soul source of company after the decision to home school her due to her having such a horrible time in school. I mention this as I think quite often the internet, phones and social media get a very negative rap without the benefits being recognised.
I always like to remember that phones and accessibility to web content is here to stay, there will become a time when these children and teenagers will be in their 40's 50's and 60's, they'll be looking back on these days with fond memories - and no doubt criticising the youth of today for whatever they do. There attention spans not destroyed, their creativity not obliterated, their ability to form adult relationships intact.
Me too. I think i have some features of ADHD. I guess all you can do is: get on that Speedy gonzales hombre
I wonder if most people aren't overstimulated, there's so much on social media and the internet and far to little emphasis on critical thinking and questioning what shown to us. I don't do social media and never have, it's never appealled to me and from everything I hear and read about it, I'm glad I don't indulge, apart from here. It's all so loud! Life seems to have got louder, multiple sources for music, people who make and recieve phone calls in thier cars seem to be louder outside than it must be inside, do they put speakers on the outside of cars now? I can hear peoples conversations when they're in a closed car, and I'm in my house with the double glazed windows shut. I think if I had even a few minutes of the noise and bright flashing colours of social media I'd go made and have a melt down!
Interesting post.It certainly got Me thinking.Thanks for that Jay.
I think Autism and ADHD is really common. I was screened for ADHD at the same time as autism. I don't have it myself, but there are lots. The autistic YouTubers seem to me to be more both.