Neurodivergent Paradox(es)

I wanted to express this here to see whether I'm not the only one who experiences this. I'm diagnosed with autism but I strongly believe I have ADHD too. My dad is diagnosed with ADHD and we think he might also be autistic. When I was young my ADHD experience was internalized  (and mostly still is) and since I wasn't stereotypically bouncing of the walls, this went unnoticed by many. 

With me, my autism can cause me to hermitize and feel nervous about going out. What I believe to be my ADHD is strongly sensory seeking and quite gregarious as times, so when I go out (which is not often) I can be the memory of the night so to speak. I can also be very "all or nothing" if that makes sense. This experience can be challenging because I have the mental ability to understand how nuanced how life is in general, and it's this nuance that makes things more interesting.  

I crave stimulus but can then feel overwhelmed by it. I strongly believe (and know through research) that ADHD brains are highly susceptible to addiction due to our natural dopamine levels. I'm lucky enough to have been raised in an environment where drugs were not a go to for me, and I don't overlook this. My phone has been the source of my overload and inevitable crash, especially TikTok. The dopamine hit I gain is strong but afterwards I feel lethargic and unable to form coherent thoughts. I can also experience headaches. 

I've been managing my screen time better and feel more connected to the present moment, which is nice. I hope that some of this also allows others to relate.