Published on 12, July, 2020
So many times I’ve bumped into someone I haven’t seen for a while or maybe someone even texted me after a while, and they say “we should meet up and do x”.
In 100% of cases they never get back in touch to do x. In 100% of the small proportion of cases where I’ve approached them to take them up on their offer to do x, some excuse is manufactured and x does not happen.
So WHY do people say this?
I understand, by now, that people saying these things, with no sincerity whatsoever, is merely an NT social ritual.
But I still don't get it. What's the point?
Pegg said:I still don't get it. What's the point?
That's like asking why people say "good morning" to one another when they meet in the morning - it is a social convention.
Do you question why people use a greeting like this and not just ignore one another? The logic of social conventions is abstract most of the time.
We as autists are particularly poor at understanding these conventions so it pays to learn about them. That was the point I was making to stop it confusing or upsetting others like us.
Iain said:Do you question why people use a greeting like this and not just ignore one another? The logic of social conventions is abstract most of the time. We as autists are particularly poor at understanding these conventions so it pays to learn about them.
We as autists are particularly poor at understanding these conventions so it pays to learn about them.
Yes, it's very much to do with autistic and allistic styles of conversation.
We (autistics) are very straightforward and tend to say what we mean and mean what we say.
I had noted your absence.
And I had noticed your return but failed to acknowledge it, for which I apologise.
Ben
Ben said:and what a lot of bother that can cause!
Welcome back Ben
Yes, I was thinking about that in relation to this thread.
I had a secretarial job interview once for the Anglican Cathedral and was asked 'what role do you think that the Church plays nowadays in ordinary lives' and my reply was 'I think it's irrelevant to most people except for births, deaths and marriages.
Needless to say, I didn't get the job.
...... and what a lot of bother that can cause!