Published on 12, July, 2020
So many times I’ve bumped into someone I haven’t seen for a while or maybe someone even texted me after a while, and they say “we should meet up and do x”.
In 100% of cases they never get back in touch to do x. In 100% of the small proportion of cases where I’ve approached them to take them up on their offer to do x, some excuse is manufactured and x does not happen.
So WHY do people say this?
I understand, by now, that people saying these things, with no sincerity whatsoever, is merely an NT social ritual.
But I still don't get it. What's the point?
It's definitely largely an "avoiding confrontation" thing, especially if both parties don't know how to express it without potentially upsetting each other.
Pegg said:I still don't get it. What's the point?
That's like asking why people say "good morning" to one another when they meet in the morning - it is a social convention.
Do you question why people use a greeting like this and not just ignore one another? The logic of social conventions is abstract most of the time.
We as autists are particularly poor at understanding these conventions so it pays to learn about them. That was the point I was making to stop it confusing or upsetting others like us.
Exactly! I get it too, and as soon as they say something like that to me I just feel like "oh so we're openly lying to each other now, see ya!".
The ones I really don't understand are those who text you out of the blue after months or years to, let's face it, lie.