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Therapist grief

HMO
7 months ago

I opened up to my therapist yesterday about how I grew attached to her. I said I saw her as like a maternal figure and I wished that I had the components she has as an individual in a friend. 

She appreciated my honesty and bravery, and she understood where I was coming from. 

What I found interesting was that I felt quite emotional *after* the session (as well as during it) because I found it quite hard to cope with the reality of the fact she's never going to be anything other than my therapist.

It's a funny time in my life as I have no support network (for reasons I'm unwilling to go into - it is partly through choice), so I've leant on her as the only person I'm willing to open up to about anything. I'm trusting of her, I know she's not judging me, and she'll validate the things I'm feeling.

Maybe something to bring up next week. I think there's a degree of grief - I know that if the sessions ended tomorrow or she had to take an extended break, I'd be a complete wreck. I've been disregulated whenever she's taken time out before (obviously not her fault, more mine for the situation I'm in).

Parents
  • 7 months ago

    I'm glad you have such an understanding and supportive therapist. That's good and I hope she continues to help you through the things you are feeling.

    My first therapist wasn't much of it. I had a feeling he was very anti autism. I had three sessions with him and then sought a new therapist, luckily after a short four month wait I got a female therapist a lovely woman called Sarah.

    The first couple of sessions I hardly spoke but slowly I started to trust her and saw her as more of a friend but not in a creepy way, just someone I could talk to and trust no matter what. I told her this and she also appreciated my honesty.

    I still see her, once a week and she helps me more than I ever thought possible. I feel very lucky to have got her as a therapist and admittedly I do dread the day when I no longer get to see and talk to her.

    I don't know how or if I'll cope.

Reply
  • 7 months ago

    I'm glad you have such an understanding and supportive therapist. That's good and I hope she continues to help you through the things you are feeling.

    My first therapist wasn't much of it. I had a feeling he was very anti autism. I had three sessions with him and then sought a new therapist, luckily after a short four month wait I got a female therapist a lovely woman called Sarah.

    The first couple of sessions I hardly spoke but slowly I started to trust her and saw her as more of a friend but not in a creepy way, just someone I could talk to and trust no matter what. I told her this and she also appreciated my honesty.

    I still see her, once a week and she helps me more than I ever thought possible. I feel very lucky to have got her as a therapist and admittedly I do dread the day when I no longer get to see and talk to her.

    I don't know how or if I'll cope.

Children
  • 7 months ago in reply to DeputySprinkles

    I had talk therapy/CBT across many years which didn't work for me at all. I didn't feel like I could be myself, it was like talking to an authority figure as opposed to someone who's like a friend.

    I just hope that the day my sessions end will be a mutual thing. We're not tied to like 12 free sessions or whatever.