I forgive you

That's a great way to look at it, must remember that.

you chose how to respond. you were commander of the situation!

Forgive others. Not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.

That's one of my favourite quotes. Some people might not deserve to be forgiven but it does give you inner peace. I try to forgive, if I can.

Right on Shardovan:

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind"

Ghandi.

Aye. It doesn't even really work in practical terms anyway. I've been rewatching vintage Grange Hill, and poor bullied Roland just got handed his ass after his one attempt to stand up to his tormentor at school. A few badly swung punches later and he's on the floor, humiliated and minus his glasses. It's desperately sad. In a less well written piece of television, he'd have got in a lucky punch and knocked out the bully and they'd have either learned their lesson or gone to pick on someone who hadn't yet got to breaking point. But sadly, breaking points all too commonly come and go, and the bullying continues. 

"Now, I am just an unpleasant person" Well, at least you're honest. And it sounds like progress. 

I Sperg said:

Always take a gun to a knife fight

and a a care package for prisoner visiting hours afterwards.

But when the last forgiver is gone, the world would then be populated exclusively by self-serving non-empathic aggressors, in some sort of fight to the death arena of a planet. I suppose that would be the new recreational activity you speak of? Mortal combat for all!  

•Snark alert•

Dear Jug Head,

So it is up to someone else to control the bully

as if the bully had no self control of their own and were incapable of evolving past it?  

as in " look what YOU made ME do!"?

Deflect responsibility much?

"Shield wall!!"

I recently found myself in a situation where I could have taken extreme offence at something that was said to me, and allowed myself to get upset about it. However, life is too short and in my experience holding onto grudges can be unhealthy.

Long story short, someone said something hurtful to me. I believe their intention was to try to give me a cause to hate them. It's what they do when their mental health is suffering. I saw straight through it. Whilst it might take me a while to forget what they said, I can and have forgiven them.

A lot of bullies end up trying to "lose the weight they used to throw around" 

Forgiving your victims and aggressors alike is really all about putting that game in the rear view mirror, not saying "oh yeah, please hit me aagain daddy".

I forgave the finance Director At **** for his pathetic attempt to casually bully me, but only after I made sure that he'd literally eaten a small amount of my sh1t.. 

There are otehrs out there like me, but worse. I Knwo of one nineteen year old girl who arranged a situation where she literally got to pour petrol over her bully and burn him to death herself. A lot of people in her area  know what she did but he must have been a real nasty pice of work, becuse she's till walking fee many years later... 

I know I'm unusual in my determiniation to come out even. (I don't need to come out on top, just to get even) because on the few times I've properly beaten a bully face to face with either superior violence or superior grasp of legalese / social politics the look of shock is, pretty priceless, TBH. I can't help but wonder if any of your victims "managed to nail you in passing" sucessfully...  I'm also hamstrung in what I can do to people by way of revenge, by the credo of "do no harm" which I picked up in my early thirties, and has limiited the damage I have caused to "bullies" ever since to much more reasonable limits, but I've still teach a few of you a bit of caution over the years inbetween getting on iwth more important or fun or useful things..

Bully, Victim, Passive aggressive assassin, they are all just silly games and best avoided by fucntoning adults. 

"Unpleasant person" however, that's a more self empowered position innit? It's a limiting role though, when you get bored of it, try playing the opposite role.

Then, when the other people are really being deliberately annoying, you can go and melt their heads with your advanced gamesmanship. 

Always take a gun to a knife fight.

Preferably an MP5Sd with a couple of mags taped back to back and the fire select lever set to single shot.  

I think if someone comes to you with an apology and genuine remorse, it can be good for you to forgive them as it may take a lot of stress off of you and give you closure. 

I was a violent bully back then. Now, I am just an unpleasant person. I always took great care in harassing only people that would not fight back or retaliate. What's the point in fighting, when there are so many professional victims that will forgive you and never fight back? Forgiving people are the first and only cause of bullying. If they all stopped forgiving, the bullies would find other recreational activities. 

Here come da judge!

No forgiveness. I refuse to forgive and I despise those who forgive. It's only their fault if there are so many bullies around

Very wise words.

Nothing is insurmountable. You can find help to over come your history. Forgiveness is not the same as accepting  something as having been ok. Nor does it mean one can expect to experience contrition from the offending party.

It is finding the courage to move beyond blame and accepting new experiences on their own terms, letting everyone off the hook and walking away with a peaceful heart if need be.

It is moving on from the past to more fully embrace the present and hope ardently for the future! Forgive everyone and let it go. Move on!

Forgiveness is, above all, the knowing that we are, each of us, are responsible for our own feelings and the ways we respond to reality. that is the only thing we really have any real control over.

Above all else, I had to forgive myself; for letting myself down all those years.

I don't forgive.

My childhood was a living hell and I don't forgive the perpetrators.  ️

It's hard forgiving sometimes. But forgiving allows you to feel peace so it's always worth forgiving if you can x.