I forgive you

Shardovan said:

would be the new recreational activity you speak of? Mortal combat for all!  

That would be quite a sight 

You should admit that your posts are quite difficult to decipher.. 

Dear Jug Head,

I never indicated my expectations of fairness of the world, just a bit expository thinking.

You seem to glide over the content of responses to your posts and barrel on with your rhetoric .as if your are didn't really read them, just a glimpse a few keywords and your off to the white fisted races. 

so.. are you really there?  Are you a real boy Pinocchio?

Uhane said:

Dear Jug Head,

So it is up to someone else to control the bully

as if the bully had no self control of their own and were incapable of evolving past it?  

as in " look what YOU made ME do!"?

Deflect responsibility much?

What?

Bullies are predators. Pure and simple. They prey on the weak and do whatever they can get away with.

"If you expect the world to be fair with you because you are fair, you're fooling yourself. That's like expecting the lion not to eat you because you didn't try to eat him." - American Psycho

Very very true. Well said.

Shardovan said:

To say 'I forgive you' and mean it is a powerful thing. Just as powerful to hear those words from someone else of course'. In both cases, we can only hope in that moment for its enduring permanence.     

It's one I keep as a screenshot so I can look at it when I need to.

That's a good one.

Meow! 

Evolution of cat 

www.killarneycat.com/.../

Cats are survivors instinct I like cats :) I miss having cats around the house, forgiveness is learnt a life skill a passed on trait, whilst cats it’s genetic evolution they forgive to survive philosophy deep kind regards put autism into the works as well empathy etc good topic 

There’s environmental factors and life skills I was right 

ctb.ku.edu/.../main

My cats are capable of manifesting a small rage of emotions that I can readily observe.

They will show fear, guilt, affection, happiness, annoyance, pleasure etc. and it's very discernable.

They also clearly evaluate my mood and will generally make themsleves scarce when I am busy and or stressed. If I am unpleasant to one of them (usually it's Blackie who is most likey to be insistant for attention at inappropriate times) he will look hurt for a while but eventually and obviously he forgives me. 

If cat's do forgiveness, then it must be a survival skill of some sort.

Unforgiveness has no innocence to it.  (I do not intend to upset anyone by what I say as I said this without reading many replies. But I have met really bitter people who carry out years of hostility and revenge often attacking innocent people because they are not inwardly strong enough to forgive. I have seen really inwardly big hearted people who have forgiven others for some terrible things and they ooze with love from their inner beings!

Very true!

It's true that some people make forgiveness nearly impossible. I was nearly destroyed by a covert narcicist three/four years ago and am in long-term attempted recovery. It's taken a lot of struggle and therapy and post-morteming and 'moving on' to get to the comparatively healthy state I'm in now. If I was asked directly, this moment, 'do they have [my] forgiveness?' I'd have to be honest and say 'They have my pity, and that's all I can do for now'. They must suffer terribly in their own mind... or do they? It might be (publicly charismatic, privately disturbing) masks all the way down. Can one forgive someone whose core is as insubstantial as smoke? I'll try. For nearly anyone else, forgiveness is a piece of cake by comparison. And life's too short not to try. 

Including our own worst critics: ourselves!

Depends on what they’ve done, I was cheated on I didn’t forgive but I moved on, “forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation etc forgive them for they know not what they do, some people are just born evil or nasty or mean depends on a crime can you forgive a crime? That’s another topic? My family is stubborn my late father fell out with his sister wouldn’t forgive sometimes it’s a family trait stubborn won’t forgive. Forgiveness and disabilities in terms of wrong doing food for thought,.. being bitter or building character life experiences would you still be the same person if you kept the grudge or let it go? That’s another topic and idea? I was bullied as well that’s a life experience it’s creates character and strength it’s casual causality loop.

I love this thread. This is what this place is about.

You don't forgive, you're still stuck in that place.

Let it go.

We all deserve better than that.

I suppose the hardest challenge with forgiveness is sustaining it. We like to think it's a state that can be reached, then maintained in an unending stable continuum. When in truth, it's not a linear process. Or at least it ultimately can be, in the way that a spiral is really a line. Foregiveness can come organically, trailing peace in its wake. Or it can be hard, ongoing graft. An act of defiance more than anything, leading slowly to inner grace. A single day can contain both these states. And other times, the whole thing is dormant, waiting to be revived unexpectedly after days, weeks, months, years, by a single trigger. 

To say 'I forgive you' and mean it is a powerful thing. Just as powerful to hear those words from someone else of course'. In both cases, we can only hope in that moment for its enduring permanence.