Forgiveness
Very very true. Well said.
To say 'I forgive you' and mean it is a powerful thing. Just as powerful to hear those words from someone else of course'. In both cases, we can only hope in that moment for its enduring permanence.
My cats are capable of manifesting a small rage of emotions that I can readily observe.
They will show fear, guilt, affection, happiness, annoyance, pleasure etc. and it's very discernable.
They also clearly evaluate my mood and will generally make themsleves scarce when I am busy and or stressed. If I am unpleasant to one of them (usually it's Blackie who is most likey to be insistant for attention at inappropriate times) he will look hurt for a while but eventually and obviously he forgives me.
If cat's do forgiveness, then it must be a survival skill of some sort.
Unforgiveness has no innocence to it. (I do not intend to upset anyone by what I say as I said this without reading many replies. But I have met really bitter people who carry out years of hostility and revenge often attacking innocent people because they are not inwardly strong enough to forgive. I have seen really inwardly big hearted people who have forgiven others for some terrible things and they ooze with love from their inner beings!
Including our own worst critics: ourselves!
I love this thread. This is what this place is about.
I suppose the hardest challenge with forgiveness is sustaining it. We like to think it's a state that can be reached, then maintained in an unending stable continuum. When in truth, it's not a linear process. Or at least it ultimately can be, in the way that a spiral is really a line. Foregiveness can come organically, trailing peace in its wake. Or it can be hard, ongoing graft. An act of defiance more than anything, leading slowly to inner grace. A single day can contain both these states. And other times, the whole thing is dormant, waiting to be revived unexpectedly after days, weeks, months, years, by a single trigger.
To say 'I forgive you' and mean it is a powerful thing. Just as powerful to hear those words from someone else of course'. In both cases, we can only hope in that moment for its enduring permanence.
you chose how to respond. you were commander of the situation!
I recently found myself in a situation where I could have taken extreme offence at something that was said to me, and allowed myself to get upset about it. However, life is too short and in my experience holding onto grudges can be unhealthy.
Long story short, someone said something hurtful to me. I believe their intention was to try to give me a cause to hate them. It's what they do when their mental health is suffering. I saw straight through it. Whilst it might take me a while to forget what they said, I can and have forgiven them.
Nothing is insurmountable. You can find help to over come your history. Forgiveness is not the same as accepting something as having been ok. Nor does it mean one can expect to experience contrition from the offending party.
It is finding the courage to move beyond blame and accepting new experiences on their own terms, letting everyone off the hook and walking away with a peaceful heart if need be.
It is moving on from the past to more fully embrace the present and hope ardently for the future! Forgive everyone and let it go. Move on!
Forgiveness is, above all, the knowing that we are, each of us, are responsible for our own feelings and the ways we respond to reality. that is the only thing we really have any real control over.
It's hard forgiving sometimes. But forgiving allows you to feel peace so it's always worth forgiving if you can x.
