Published on 12, July, 2020
So, for me, there is little good.
Good = buying anything that includes fresh foliage and making table decorations with it (and collecting foliage to add) then the arrival of January.
Bad = expectations, expense, overload of everything..
Ugly = years from childhood of trauma related to this time of year, not just at home with my parents but also the financial and social obligations that were too much for me.
These now cause cyclical depression.
Also, lack of any real meaning as I'm agnostic.
My survival tips after 4+ decades of active involvement:
Cut down as much as you can on present buying without falling out with people - I've managed to now no longer buy for the vast majority of my family and half my friends (half = 1).
I found approaching this with people very anxiety making and I was concerned about conflict but I've been surprised that on the whole, most people are accommodating and some people even seem to be positive about it.
Cut down as much as you can on socialising (as above).
Try to learn to say 'no' if you are anything like me, too obliging for my own good.
This is a just a short synopsis of thoughts that have been racing through my head today.
I'd love to hear anyone's own version of the above.
Thank you.
Always forgive yourself. It's not your fault and you shouldn't feel blame or shame for acting the way you do to certain things, like Christmas.
It's normal to feel stressed this time of year when you have ASD. This time of year I am always on edge and anxious.
Have a great Christmas I hope it won't be too bad for you.
I really dislike the build-up to Christmas. Even though my wife and I try and keep it as simple as possible and don't see family, it still feels really stressful. I'm freelance and although 2023 has been relatively quiet, I've suddenly got busy this month and have loads to do prior to the Christmas break which is stressing me out.
Once the day is here and I've got through my dreaded phone call to my brother I sort of enjoy the day. We go for a walk and eat turkey sandwiches on the beach, then get to spend a few days together. My favourite part of the season is when the decorations come down on New Year's day and it's all done for another 12 months.
I don't socialise at all at Christmas now unless you count half an hour at village carols on the green on Christmas eve which I quite enjoy.
I love January, Christmas is 12 months away and all the pressure has been removed.
I hope it's a good one for you and your friends. Also I hope your friends op goes well
Thank you everyone for your replies.
It's good to know that others feel similarly.
I remember family get togethers when I was younger at Christmas and I never enjoyed them.
I have felt guilty since because a large percentage of the people present then have now passed away.
However, I can forgive myself now because I know that it was the autism that made it all too much.
I wish you all as good a Christmas as you can have.
If Christmas isn't of relevance to you for cultural, religious, other reasons - I hope you have a good break.
Verity said:what will your Christmas be like
Not as quiet as I'd originally intended.
I'm assuming you mean Xmas day and that will now include a friend and her husband as she is having an operation (hopefully today) and will be recovering so we will be hosting them.
Generally, it will just be like my description in my OP (ie looking forward to January).
Thank you for asking
Thank you so much I always felt like I was going mad and my family never unstood
I thought of a good for Christmas actually.
Listening to Christmas carols on Christmas Eve, in my room, when hiding from the rest of my overbearing relatives
I've always listened to Christmas carols on Christmas Eve. It's a Christmas tradition I started a couple of years ago.
I will drink too much and probably end up in my room playing some random video game. Then i will contemplate how my life is a complete failure and as much as I want to improve it, I have no clue how to.
It is such a sad time for many. Im sorry for your loss ️
I have less feelings than ever, this year for christmas. I havent put any decorations up, i havent cleaned for weeks, my laundry is piling up, i dont want to go to the shops, i am just getting through each day with feeling tired. But i did go to the cinema this afternoon, for the first time in about 8 years, to see Wish. Me and my friend were the only 2 people there.
Christmas will be over in 2 weeks and we can look forward to the spring
Christmas for me is the bad and the ugly, there's never any good associated with it, well except for the fact that it means it's over for another year.
This year, as per usual I will spend it in my room, likely listening to music or an audiobook with my headphones on.
Former Member what will your Christmas be like?
I'm sorry Pegg. That must be a very traumatic (+ life changing) experience to be reflecting upon.
I'm sorry Pegg.
That must be a very traumatic (+ life changing) experience to be reflecting upon.
Thank you Debbie, you are kind.
I have come far, since then. And although some things caused by the accident will never be fixed - still, much has improved, slowly, in those 6 years.
I am more fortunate than I believed I would be.
Pegg said:Today marks the 6th anniversary the my accident, that's probably the biggest point of reflection for me, tbh.
I will think of you x
I'm usually on my own, now. The difference in days (different names for days, that are usually Monday, e.g.) always makes me lose track of the days, so it's a bit of a timeless time, really.
Apart from a tree - still not up - I don't have decorations.
I don't necessarily have Christmas food, either.
So it's just alone time.
For the last few years it hasn't seemed any different to any other time, much, because I've always been at home.
Today marks the 6th anniversary the my accident, that's probably the biggest point of reflection for me, tbh.
Roy said:For me a positive to Christmas is that we have passed the winter equinox
I know!
I'm counting.... not long now til the light starts coming back
Stay in Bed for 24 Hours.
The best thing about Christmas is when it's over. I perk up no end in January. No more of that nonsense for another 12 months.