Christmas: the good, the bad and the ugly and how to survive it

Thank you for the reminder we will be past the winter equinox, I am longing for more light again. Definitely a positive.

Yes that will pretty much be our Christmas Day, another Sunday lunch. 

I'm so very sorry to read those last lines x

I don't like Christmas. It's an overwhelming time of year, bright lights, noise and the family coming round and disturbing my personal space. The complexity of buying gifts is overwhelming in its own way, this takes up much of my brain space in November and the start of December. I really do dislike it.

And it was during Christmas in 2020 when my sister committed suicide. I hated Christmas before this happened but after this happened it just added to my list of reasons to hate it.

Autonomistic said:

I think it is becoming more accepted to cut down on unnecessary tit for tat present exchanges. For the past few years Martin Lewis as been campaigning for this on his TV show:

I didn't know that so thank you for sharing the information and the link.

Good news.

Roy said:

I was exactly the same when you mentioned S&M, you had to explain the joke to me.

That's a private matter Roy

Seriously though there's no face or tone of voice involved so it's understandable. 

I was exactly the same when you mentioned S&M, you had to explain the joke to me.

I actually wondered if it was a joke. 

Very funny now I know

It was my feeble attempt at humour, apparently autistic people often don’t respond to jokes,

Roy said:

it’s 3 months until Pancake Day and the supermarket already has eggs and flour on the shelves? Total madness.

Supermarkets always have eggs and flour on the shelves 

For me a positive to Christmas is that we have passed the winter equinox. I only have to buy a present for my wife and mother, my wife takes care of my mothers present so I in fact only have one to buy for.

My father passed away at Christmas, I seem to have mother every Christmas, my siblings seem to have lives. My wife invited everyone for Boxing Day last year, so far this year I think we will be on our own with mother. I don’t really mind as I don’t particularly like going anywhere.

For all the fuss, Christmas Day is just a bit of Sunday dinner.

Do you know, it’s 3 months until Pancake Day and the supermarket already has eggs and flour on the shelves? Total madness.

Up until a few years ago, the gift-giving was quite frankly a nightmare for me. I'd got two grandmothers, an uncle, four aunts (three with husbands), seven cousins, my parents, and my son. Admittedly, their gifts from me were usually of the homemade edible kind, but even so, the cost of the ingredients, along with suitable packaging soon mounted up.

My son and my mother are now the only people I exchange gifts with at Christmas, although that's mainly because since my two grandmothers died, I no longer get to see the rest of my family. I don't go overboard with the gifts I buy for my son and mother, but I do make a point of ensuring the gifts they get are what they want.

I am fortunate to be in a situation where I don't have to worry too much about socialising at Christmas. It's on my terms (and my son's), not that I have anyone locally that I can socialise with... unless one counts my mother. 

Christmas and Birthdays aren't that different for me. I spend most of my time alone the same as I normally do. The only thing that's different for me is the expectation that I should be having a good time. So as long as I have low expectations I should be fine.

I don't overdo Christmas, but wish to connect with a sense of childhood innocence I never had; at that age. I took myself too seriously, growing up. Now, I distance myself from Drama.

Yes, Soaps are ridiculous hyperbole; these days. All about a chaotic wedding, which turns into a hair-pulling session.

For me a positive thing is the lights if not over the top as they brighten up the dark nights. Christmas films in the weeks before as they are usually good stories with a happy ending so relaxing to watch. I used to like the Christmas Specials especially comedies but not much of that now. I stopped watching soaps and don't understand the dramatic tragedies they now have at Christmas as that is not the sort of thing I would watch to relax.

I like decorations made from the raw materials like foliage and the opportunity to be creative. As a child we were creative and re used decorations too. This probably was because my parents were children during the war. I enjoyed fairly simple family Christmases.

I don't like Christmas being over commercialized. I think it is sad that people spend more than they have. It often feels like the actual reason for Christmas is forgotten, because the origin is based on a baby born in simple surroundings. 

My brother and i dont like this time of year for the bad and the ugly, like you. So, we go out for dinner, no fuss, just to get through the day. The sense of not belonging is heightened at this time Its horrible. If i didn't have my brother i would go help with community lunches or stay in bed. Unless its snowing, i would build a snowman ️ 

Christmas will be whatever I make it so I'm not getting too stressed over it. I may put decorations up or I may not. I have a grocery delivery booked and will be relieved once that's over and done with. The only person I buy for is my elderly mum and that shopping was done online. I don't have any invitations to say no to.

Good = buying anything that includes fresh foliage and making table decorations with it (and collecting foliage to add) then the arrival of January.

I enjoy collecting some fresh holly each year, to make the place look a little festive even if I don't bother with any decorations.

Cut down as much as you can on present buying without falling out with people - I've managed to now no longer buy for the vast majority of my family and half my friends (half = 1).

I found approaching this with people very anxiety making and I was concerned about conflict but I've been surprised that on the whole, most people are accommodating and some people even seem to be positive about it.

I think it is becoming more accepted to cut down on unnecessary tit for tat present exchanges. For the past few years Martin Lewis as been campaigning for this on his TV show:

Thanks Debbie, Christmas Day can be pretty lonely - feels like the whole world is doing something that you’re left out of.

And my cat will probably protest about the quality of service I provide at some point

Amerantin (former member) said:

Christmas Day will just be me and my cat.

I will be thinking of you.

I would actually like to be without obligations but I do understand that spending a time alone that is meant to be for gatherings (theoretically) can be a lonely experience.

I think that your cat is lucky to have you.

I’m way ahead of you. 

My only Christmas socialising will be the works Christmas do on Friday (feeling anxious about that) and Christmas Day will just be me and my cat.

Of course this means the inevitable “what did you do for Christmas and new year” questions in January will be awkward.