Autistic memory

Amerantin (former member) said:

I haven’t experienced what it’s like to know I’m autistic while unmedicated.

Me too.

I've been on and off them for decades.

Amerantin (former member) said:

Getting off the meds is one of my goals for early ‘24. 

I have no desire though to come off the meds permanently, ever.

I have done before and I really don't like how I feel.

All the best with this.

I was put on anti-depressants at the start of 2023, months before I got my autism diagnosis, so I haven’t experienced what it’s like to know I’m autistic while unmedicated. Getting off the meds is one of my goals for early ‘24. 

But I suppose the question is really, would I choose to be a different but happier person or is remaining “me” more important.

It’s a difficult question.

I can go back to the 1950's when, as a very small child, I would be taken to a nearby smalll town to do the shopping. There were no supermarkets back them - they arrived in the sixties.  The shops were set in a long narrow street accessed by very few vehicles. (A by-pass had been recently built). One could smell the bakery, the fishmonger and the butcher from the other side of the street, also the cobbler's had an aroma and maybe some I forget.  I think that is now firmly a thing of the past.  Autistic memory? well maybe or maybe not; however I can still recall the smell of the fabric lining in my pram.... I don't know what fabric it was, but the pram had been new for an older sibling born in 1949.  Is that autistic, or do allistics have such recall, I wonder?

Ben

My short term memory is poor, since my brain is impaired, although definitely better than a few years ago. 

I remember times from the past as though they were much more recent though, so my sense of time may be different, since more recent events I may easily forget. 

Today, I am thinking about snow, since it will probably keep me at home tomorrow - and I remember building a snowman in the garden with my brother when we were 9 and 7, he had a red jumper, but no coat (because he doesn't wear coats) and the melting snow on his jumper was shining like diamonds in the sun. 

It was very cold, and our breath turned to clouds, which was really interesting, then. The dogs were there, one running, hoping to play, the older dog watching us, hoping to chase a stick, or perhaps a snowball. 

My mum too photos of us - but I don't know whether they survive, now. 

Amerantin (former member) said:

I wonder, if they could give us a pill to switch autism off, would we feel horribly dulled by it and ask to have the autism back.

A good question.

I think that antidepressants probably do a job of dulling some aspects of it for me.

I reckon if I were single again then I'd say 'yes' as I know it had a big hand in my many difficulties.

However, now, with my settled life, I think I'd miss it.

What do you feel about the question (and anyone else)?

I wonder, if they could give us a pill to switch autism off, would we feel horribly dulled by it and ask to have the autism back.

Old Timer said:

It’s incredible that I can remember the Thirties, how I can picture how my village looked, the people, the street names, remember the smell of the bakery on my way to school like it all had happened yesterday. That is how impressive memory is.

Thank you for a fascinating post.

You are doing extremely well!

Yes, I remember the smell of the bakery at the end of my road too - 3 decades after yours though 

Ah now memory is an interesting one for me! I can remember every car registration of every car I owned and have travelled in. I can remember the voices of my mother and father, and of my youthful chums and the men I served with. I can remember my mother’s scent, the Old Spice my father would wear. 

I can remember making a call and going through to the switchboard... And that coincidentally is the job my Good Lady used to do, back in the day... Ahh, the memories. And yet at times my memory is full of holes. I can’t remember where I put my ruddy glasses ten minutes ago, I can’t remember the telephone number of my tailor... I can’t recall a single birthday date of any of my children, grandchildren and great grandchildren...

Memory is a bizarre thing. Mind you, I am from the Thirties so I do not think I’m doing too badly remembering things, all things considered! So long as I remember my Wedding Anniversary and more importantly, where the whiskey and my pipe are, then I don’t worry about the rest. Let’s get our priorities right here!

I find memory fascinating if I am honest. Absolutely fascinating! It’s incredible that I can remember the Thirties, how I can picture how my village looked, the people, the street names, remember the smell of the bakery on my way to school like it all had happened yesterday. That is how impressive memory is.

It can take the ghosts of yesterday and present them in my head like it was today. That to me is wonderful. My Good Lady and I discussed this yesterday evening. We were sat talking and I read this page then and we got talking and she, who is not autistic, cannot remember as much as I can. So, perhaps this is an autistic trait? Who knows.

I have a very specific visual memory. But that is a double edged sword as I also remember some traumatic memories with finite detail and often re-experience those. I've been in 9/10 car crashes in my life (only one was my fault) and especially re-experience the large pull-ups in detail.

As for working memory; if I'm given chance to visualise something, then I can commit it to memory very reliably. That includes quite long numbers like bank cards or telephone numbers

Something I've realised recently from talking to people is that another rather unusual aspect of my memory is that  I remember where every object in my house comes from ie the shop or person, going back decades.

I wonder if anyone else shares this?

Mine is some people addresses. Used to remember phone numbers and the house number. I've got a memory like Wikipedia and can find things out. People used me as a search engine etc. 

I used to be able to remember phone numbers back in the days when we had to physically dial the number, in fact I can still recall a few but not necessarily who they belonged to! I think its because they have a pattern to them in the way they sound when you say the number that makes them memorable

completely with you on the TV ads from the past. I tend to avoid ads these days as I record everything and watch it when I want to. 

Thanks Debbie, good to know I'm not alone, the spam bots always seem to be picking on you! 

After nearly five decades, I'm finding that my memory can be hit and miss.

Unlike some members here, I can't remember all the lyrics for a song (just random bits), or the entire script for a film.

My short-term memory can be lousy. My long-term memory is better, but the things I remember can be random and not particularly useful. For example, I might remember conversations that were had in the past, but am often useless at knowing the answers to quizzes.

I spent the first few months of my life living in a flat. I have zero memories of it. However, I can remember the rest of the homes I've lived in (not many), the furniture, and how they were decorated. I can also remember the former homes of my relatives and friends.

My sense of direction used to be brilliant. I can remember staying with my Grandma on one occasion, and she had used a shortcut I was unfamiliar with to drive back from her nearest town to her house. About a year or so later, at the age of 10 or 11, I successfully managed to navigate my mother to my Grandma's house using that same shortcut. To be honest, it had seemed more like instinct than memory, but I felt proud of myself because the shortcut consisted of several turnings we needed to take.

I can remember phone numbers dating back to my early childhood. Until mobile phones came along, I seemed to have no difficulty remembering phone numbers, especially if they were the phone numbers of my friends and relatives.

I can always rely on you to provide an erudite post that's really helpful.

Thank you. I had to look up the meaning of erudite, which is quite alarming considering I used to read the dictionary as a child. I must have forgotten that one 

I would normally quote all the relevant parts but as one ID has been relegated to jail I won't take any risks with this one.

I hope you get your ID back soon. It is so frustrating when something like that happens and it always seems to happen on a weekend, when it will take longer to resolve.

I've stopped trying to correct typos in my posts as that often means they are swallowed whole by the spam eater.

battybats said:

It does make me a handy person to have on your pub quiz team though

I've only done a few quizes but I'm hopeless with general knowledge as I tend to never follow TV, celebrities, films, sport etc etc.

However, I'll usually come up with the one obscure answer that no-one else knows.

Thank you.

I can always rely on you to provide an erudite post that's really helpful.

I will take that link but there's lots in what you say that resonates.

I would normally quote all the relevant parts but as one ID has been relegated to jail I won't take any risks with this one.

This is fascinating:

Autonomistic said:

This interesting article explains how memories are stored in the amygdala, rather than the hippocampus, when we are stressed or anxious. I have read previous studies about how the amygdala can be larger in autistic people. That's probably because we're storing so much in there! The memories stored there have sensations and feelings associated with them and this is what causes flashbacks and being able to relive trauma that may have happened decades ago with the same intensity.

There are so many different types of memory that it is hard to generalise.

My short term working memory can be completely hopeless a lot of the time and this seems to be getting worse as I get older. I need to rely on numerous lists to function and I cannot process more than one instruction at a time.

I do have a good memory for numbers. I retain lots of phone numbers, bank account numbers, credit card numbers, etc. Some of these go back many years and I still remember them even though I have not actually used them for a long time.

My memory for faces on the other hand is almost non existent. I.ve never been officially diagnosed with prosopagnosia but I strongly suspect I have it. Throughout my life if I've been out with my mum and she stopped to talk to someone I would have to ask her afterwards who it was and keep asking, no matter how many times she met the same person. I've had people approach me and claim to know me from school / college / work but I had absolutely no recollection of them whatsoever.

I don't remember names very well either. If I'm writing any Xmas cards to neighbours etc I have to get out last years cards to remind me of their names. I don't remember hardly any names of people who I went to school with or worked with. Some people seems to be able to recall the names of all their teachers while I only remember a couple of them.

My visual memory for places is much better. I can clearly remember lots of places I have been, even a long time ago. If I go back I will be able to find my way around easily unless something has changed.

I've managed to pass plenty of exams in the past but I don't think I actually retained very much of that knowledge. In common with many autists I can retain a lot more for topics I'm interested in.

I do have some vivid memories from a very early age (around 2 or 3 years old) and at my autism assessment this was commented upon. It was just as well because my mum could remember very little of my childhood. I believe that is more common in autistic people.

This interesting article explains how memories are stored in the amygdala, rather than the hippocampus, when we are stressed or anxious. I have read previous studies about how the amygdala can be larger in autistic people. That's probably because we're storing so much in there! The memories stored there have sensations and feelings associated with them and this is what causes flashbacks and being able to relive trauma that may have happened decades ago with the same intensity.

https://www.barrierstoeducation.co.uk/autism-and-trauma

Unfortunately my brain does tend to remember a lot of negative stuff for a long time and the things that trigger those memories seems to be an ever growing list

Homebird said:

When I read this I thought, no wonder it can take a while to fall asleep. 

Yes, I agree.

It affects all areas of our life I reckon.