Visual Stimming

I love stinming but visual stims are an obsession for me now. I love watching cars with their lights on, I have a lava lamp which I love to stare at.

But it's also led to an unhealthy stim which is staring at the sun, really stupid I know but I can't help it. If it's bright I can't not look. It's led to solar retinopathy for me, first in my left eye two tears ago and now this month in my right eye. I have blind spots and very blurry vision because of it.

But I love stinming and I know the risks but I still love the light. Can anyone relate to this? I've had my dad and doctors checking me for mental stability, if I do it for attention but no one believes or even considers it could just be an autistic thing.