Published on 12, July, 2020
What has helped you?
Age? I'm 26 but I feel older and younger at the same time.
I want to go back to how I was prior to my teenage years. I've internalised a lot of not very nice things. I'm working through it in therapy.
It's weird. I don't care what people think about my (somewhat uncool) interests but I do care what they think about my appearance and personality.
I do want people to like me but I will admit to taking that and running a mile.
I used to not care what people thought as a child which was very healthy. My mum taught me to be proud of being different. Sadly that didn’t last. I think it was school, the other kids could tell I was different and it got pointed out. I was picked on etc. And as I grew older it just became more apparent to me how different I was- different interests , not much common ground, no friends because I just hadn’t met anyone likeminded. I am now very concerned about what people think about me - especially also with respect to my studies and work. And it is so stressful because I am so bad at reading people. It’s hard. I wish I didn’t care - then maybe I wouldn’t feel so inadequate and wouldn’t let people’s comments get to me
You are "distressing yourself with imaginings" We all are our own worst enemies in this regard with our feeble attemtpts to second guess what others are thinking. No one can teach you strength of conviction. You learn to develope it through your own experiences of life as to the realities of what is truly important and what is not.
I think I know what you mean. Sadly experience has taught me that there is often an ulterior motive when people are nice to you (or not) (eg. they want something from you, would be in trouble if not etc). I usually just believe in the best in people but I've been used more than once. I know it's impossible to know what others are thinking. It's not easy at the moment as I am in a new working environment and I am constantly being told how inadequate and slow and not social enough etc I am...
I used to think that too, and therefore would completely dismiss compliments. It's only now that I realise how that must have made the other person feel, realising that their compliment was completely genuine given how they went out of their way to pay it.
We can be too trusting though which doesn't help.