Published on 12, July, 2020
What has helped you?
Age? I'm 26 but I feel older and younger at the same time.
I want to go back to how I was prior to my teenage years. I've internalised a lot of not very nice things. I'm working through it in therapy.
It's weird. I don't care what people think about my (somewhat uncool) interests but I do care what they think about my appearance and personality.
I do want people to like me but I will admit to taking that and running a mile.
I used to not care what people thought as a child which was very healthy. My mum taught me to be proud of being different. Sadly that didn’t last. I think it was school, the other kids could tell I was different and it got pointed out. I was picked on etc. And as I grew older it just became more apparent to me how different I was- different interests , not much common ground, no friends because I just hadn’t met anyone likeminded. I am now very concerned about what people think about me - especially also with respect to my studies and work. And it is so stressful because I am so bad at reading people. It’s hard. I wish I didn’t care - then maybe I wouldn’t feel so inadequate and wouldn’t let people’s comments get to me
Ann :) said:And it is so stressful because I am so bad at reading people
I have the same problem, I care so much what people think but I cant read them so never know what they think. Its a wierd dichotomy
You are "distressing yourself with imaginings" We all are our own worst enemies in this regard with our feeble attemtpts to second guess what others are thinking. No one can teach you strength of conviction. You learn to develope it through your own experiences of life as to the realities of what is truly important and what is not.
Yeah, it seems that I became so much more aware of myself when I was about 12/13 and thus more self conscious and aware of my differences.
I think I care a lot less than I did when I was a teenager to the point I didn't wear my glasses full time until 3 years later, but deep down there's still a fear of judgement.
Your experience seems to mirror mine pretty much. I try and tell myself that it doesn't matter but it doesn't make a difference.