Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello!
I'm a 39 year old lady that has been "quirky" her whole life. My sister was almost convinced something was wrong with me from a MH POV. For the past 10 odd years I've tried to figure out what's "wrong* with me. A GP once suggested OCD traits, and Ive been to therapy for many years but she always end up blaming everything to one traumatic event, even though my quirks were clear many years before that.
The more I think about it, the more I'm certain I fall somewhere along the spectrum. I've done the Aspie and the AQ 10 tests, both showing that my suspicions are sustained.
Here's the kicker... I have a fairly normal life and don't really struggle. Yes, I only have one friend, but like many of you only like the idea of friendships but not necessarily having one (or the effort). I have a client facing job and I think I do ok (it doesn't mean I like it though). I do have a loving husband, and two children (I'm way more attached to one) and my dog who I love. I have no extended family and I don't talk (nor have no real desire or need ) to my sister. In fact I've never felt ANY attachment towards her EVER like at all.
So would it be worth it? At this point is more about vindication and self understanding. Hopefully having therapy who can guide me and be able to discern between trauma and spectrum related traits.
What do you think?
The private clinic has said the preliminary testing warrants a full assessment.
Ooh.. Here’s me thinking it the short-form of King Iainidas..️.️.
Yes it’s worth it..
Hi :) A diagnosis can be helpful if you think you could benefit from reasonable adjustments at work. It can also help you better understand yourself but for this you do not necessarily need a formal diagnosis. Some people need that external validation. I am glad I got a diagnosis as it helped me understand myself better (and as I keep questioning everything, getting a formal diagnosis somewhat helped though that doesn't really silence all doubts and imposter syndrome feelings). In addition, I thought in case I needed reasonable adjustments during my PhD or later at work it would be good to have it formalised. I am now actually getting some support at university as I am autistic. I had also accumulated a lot of other diagnoses which didn't really fit but some of them were quite damaging (I got diagnosed with an eating disorder which I did not have... I do struggle with IBS and food but it is very much autism related and I was getting very damaging advice which did not apply to me.). Once I got the autism diagnosis I had a reassessment and they agreed I had been misdiagnosed and it has been changed on my record. There is sadly a lot of stigma if you have a diagnosis of anorexia nervosa, so I was glad that they removed that. So for me a formal diagnosis had advantages.
When I was diagnosed, mum and I actually realised that she is most likely also autistic. However she is not interested at all in seeking a diagnosis, as she is very at peace with who she is and has no need for adjustments at work (finally found a job she is happy with :)).
So it really depends on what you want and need :)
Hahahaha see?? This has made me giggle I'm also clearly blind
NAS88818 said:Is your username name based on Serial Experiments Lain?
No, it is my name. The first letter is a capital i by the way.
I have to admit this is the oddest question I've been asked for some time LoL.
Is your username name based on Serial Experiments Lain?
Yes, all tests through high scores, so although not conclusive can't be ignored.
I'll look at those therapists thank you!
NAS88818 said: At this point is more about vindication and self understanding. Hopefully having therapy who can guide me and be able to discern between trauma and spectrum related traits.
The diagnosis will either take years on the NHS or be quite expensive going private, so unless you need it to register yourself at work to get reasonable adjustments to your working environmnet then I would say don't bother.
I would say get a therapist and start working on the things that you want to. They cost around £50/hour but are worth in in my opinion. You can find loads here:
www.psychologytoday.com/.../england
If you have done the online tests and they are conclusive then you know you are an autist. Learn about it and find ways to make the difficult things in life easier. Process past traumas (especially the ones your mind keeps hidden) with an autism specialist therapist and it can make a lot of difference in your life.
I get what you say about a customer facing job and not speaking to siblings - I worked in customer facing support for 32 years in spite of scoring at the extreme scale of the spectrum. I don't speak to my siblings but when out paths cross we are quite conversive - I just don't have enough in common with them any more.
I'm married, no kids and have one long term friend that I speak to every few weeks. It is enough for both of us.
Thank you! That article was quite sweet :)
I thought that maybe with a valid diagnosis I could access subsidised therapy. That would be my end goal (as at list prices is eye watering expensive)
You can choose to self identify if it helps you with self understanding. I read this article recently on the subject:
https://emergentdivergence.com/2023/08/28/creating-autistic-suffering-the-self-diagnosis-debate/
NAS88818 said:I'd like specialised therapy, I think that would help me.
You won't get that on the NHS with or without a diagnosis. There is nothing stopping you seeking out a private therapist who specialises in autism.
In all honesty probably not. I'd have to change jobs or roles. I'd like specialised therapy, I think that would help me.
I think it depends whether there are any reasonable adjustments that your workplace could make for you. There is little support available, so reasonable adjustments was the only benefit to me.