Published on 12, July, 2020
I am so depressed and fed up with my life. I’m 23 and never been in a relationship with a girl. I took everyone’s advice about going to groups and meeting people it doesn’t work. I think god has a vendetta against me. I don’t think it’s fair that everyone else gets to have relationships and I don’t. This medication isn’t working that I’m on it’s like taking smarties they don’t do anything. I’m going to keep complaining to the doctor because I’m still not satisfied. This is how sad and pathetic my life has become the human race really hasn’t come far. Maybe one day we’ll live in a world we’re everyone gets treated fairly.
I'm an atheist so can't subscribe to the god vendetta theory, but I understand your desire to be in a relationship. I've been in quite a few but always seem to upset the person I'm with eventually because of my 'irregular' ways. Autumn Trees is right, being single can be way more fun, but I have to admit I really miss having company at times. At 23 you have plenty of time to meet someone and it always seems to happen when you least expect it. The harder you try the less likely it seems to materialise. I've been on my own for almost 2 years now and I'm just starting to think about finding someone again. I'm 58 and don't like socialising beyond a few very close friends so it's never going to be easy, but it won't stop me trying. I'd say you're in with a better shout than me. Go for it.
Twitch said:The harder you try the less likely it seems to materialise
That is because you are more relaxed, more authentic and the other person can see more of the real you.
When we are looking for a partner there is an air of desperation that often accompanies us which is quite unattractive to others I've found.
I think you're probably right.. Do you think people tend to try too hard when they're looking for a partner?
I suppose dating sites prove the point, somewhat.
You answered your own question there! Smart guy that Yoda.
"Do or Do not, there is no Try" ?
Pegg said:The problem is the emotional difficulty in changing those routines; of surrendering- even if slightly - the known for the unknown. Such changes are easier incrementally, but the nature of risk is that it is seldom incremental.
<engaging Yoda mode>
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
“Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you, it will.”
Fear of change you have.
“Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.”
<disengage Yoda mode>
Iain said:Meh, the abyss is just a marketing ploy thought up by autism.
I like that..
Iain said:When you think about it, every one of our safe routines was once alien to us, so for us to be able to adapt to them and find them so comforting means that other things can offer the same potential
Well yes, your logic is impeccable! The problem is the emotional difficulty in changing those routines; of surrendering- even if slightly - the known for the unknown. Such changes are easier incrementally, but the nature of risk is that it is seldom incremental.
Tricky. Although from what you say, you seem to have a fairly balanced approach.
I am very risk-averse. Occasionally I emerge and do something exciting, I usually enjoy it! But I find it stressful too.