Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm sorry if my question does not belong here. I am not officially diagnosed but have suspected autism. Every time I start a new job, I am fine for a few months, then I go into a spiral of thinking I'm not liked or not wanted there... especially if I interact with these people a lot everyday. I can never read peoples intensions with me. Of course it could be related to my psychosis diagnosis, but I don't feel its paranoia. I realise that I could be wrong in my thinking and I know I am overthinking it, but I cannot stop it. I don't feel people are plotting against me, I just don't feel very liked or wanted. And I end up feeling like I don't fit in.
I have the same, constant thoughts and feelings that people don't like me. It used to worry me but now I'm not so bothered by it. I don't think I've ever truly fit in anywhere, my home, school, nowhere. I've always felt different and felt I am treated differently.
It's difficult because certainly for me, when someone has disliked me, that alone isn't enough. They feel the need to *show* me they dislike me. That's what bothers me, because I probably wouldn't care if they just left me alone.
I'm the same with not fitting in, the only time I ever found something resembling a community I fit into was online and I don't have access to that anymore sadly.
People can be cruel like that. They don't think how their words and actions might affect somebody else, how is it that song goes? Words are like weapons they wound sometimes...
True.
I'm sorry you can't access that community now. I've never fit in anywhere it's something I used to dream of finding, a place I can fit in and be myself but I don't see it happening anymore.
I'm sorry. Very frustrating,I get so frustrated, see the problem but can't get past it.
It's frustrating because they live rent free in my head basically.
I screwed up and I had to step back from that community. I only realise now how helpful it was to me.