Published on 12, July, 2020
I'm sorry if my question does not belong here. I am not officially diagnosed but have suspected autism. Every time I start a new job, I am fine for a few months, then I go into a spiral of thinking I'm not liked or not wanted there... especially if I interact with these people a lot everyday. I can never read peoples intensions with me. Of course it could be related to my psychosis diagnosis, but I don't feel its paranoia. I realise that I could be wrong in my thinking and I know I am overthinking it, but I cannot stop it. I don't feel people are plotting against me, I just don't feel very liked or wanted. And I end up feeling like I don't fit in.
I have the same, constant thoughts and feelings that people don't like me. It used to worry me but now I'm not so bothered by it. I don't think I've ever truly fit in anywhere, my home, school, nowhere. I've always felt different and felt I am treated differently.
welcome aboard ! I've spent most of my life trying to run away from myself---gets you nowhere
It's difficult because certainly for me, when someone has disliked me, that alone isn't enough. They feel the need to *show* me they dislike me. That's what bothers me, because I probably wouldn't care if they just left me alone.
I'm the same with not fitting in, the only time I ever found something resembling a community I fit into was online and I don't have access to that anymore sadly.