Published on 12, July, 2020
For anyone who used to struggle with this and managed to find it easier, how did you distinguish between a compliment seemingly not feeling genuine and one that does?
I'm well aware that my low self-esteem is the reason why I've struggled to respond to compliments and really take them in, and it's something I'm really working on. Sometimes I'd make a joke in response and it kills it somewhat.
There's probably an argument that adults tend to not pay people compliments unless they genuinely mean it - at that point in time anyway.
i dunno.... compliments are cringe... i think perhaps thats what it is... its kinda like when its your birthday and everyone gathers around and makes it weird and starts singing you happy birthday in a public place and everyones then looking at you and its all cringe.... no one likes that, it really is cringe... thats what a compliment is like, its the same thing lolalso if someones acting nice or compliments you alot of the time it means they want something from you and are trying to butter you up, thats a common tactic used so many times in history that i think we develope a in built warning alert signal that when we get complimented we suddenly become aware that the person doing it may want something, may want to rip you off, sell you dodgy insurance, or have bad news.
Caelus said: if someones acting nice or compliments you alot of the time it means they want something from you and are trying to butter you up
Sometimes it is because they fancy you and are hoping you will reciprocate and start the mating dance of chatting each other up. I've had this a few times and it was only when they actually said "look, are you going to ask me on a date or what" that I realised what was happening.
Lizard Queen said:I find this difficult, I hate receiving compliments as they make me uncomfortable.
<engaging psychoanalysis mode>
Do you think this could be because subconciously you don't think you deserve the compliment?
Autistic people often have very low self worth, partly due to the rejections they have faced in society from an early age and when someone is positive towards them then they think it is either manipulative, fake or undeserved.
I would recomment just thanking the person for the compliment and moving on.
If it is a personal compliment (eg I love that t-shirt) then consider complimenting them back if you like the look of them - it there is no interest then it will stop at that but if that was a hook for more chatting up then they will take the conversation to another level that should be a little more obvious and it is time to look for signs of shown here ( https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/is-she-interested-in-me-or-just-being-friendly-10-ways-to-tell/ )