Accepting compliments

Thank you for your kind words.

You are a nice decent Person at Heart.
You are not silly.
Keep those confidence levells up.
You just need an esteem boost.

It has to be said that whilst I appreciate receiving compliments, I can sometimes struggle with how to respond... Other than saying, "Thank you" that is.

I definitely don't consider myself to be an oil painting. Therefore, if I'm complimented on how I look, as flattered as I may feel, I have a tendency to play it down and make light of it... "Thank you. I'm guessing it's been a while since you last saw an optician?" If I'm complimented on something creative I've done, I find it considerably easier to accept.

I'm in agreement that it can sometimes be hard to know if a compliment is genuine. I had a grandmother who seemed to excel at giving out backhanded compliments, although I don't think it was something she was aware of.

Yeah I realise it probably makes the other person feel awkward and uncomfortable if I do dismiss a compliment which they went out of their way to give.

I'm practicing saying thank you in response to anything nice and it's getting a bit easier. But yeah, being self-deprecating like that is hit and miss I find. 

Sometimes the other person can see the funny side and other times I'm just tearing myself down.

I self-deprecated to a work-coach today, though I try not to incase if it hits them in the feels, then they think we’re having an emotional-moment but I’m terrible at being reciprocally-affective, but we’re not I just was telling my truth..
Anyways I said that before I was diagnosed I was a second-rate person, then her breath caught and her eyes glazed-over, then I thought ‘oh s+++, what have I done?!’, then she looked at me and I froze and I said “but it’s different now..’. Then, thank god, she regained herself. 
I was like ‘phew’..

I remember reading this a few years ago and found it really helpful

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au/.../Assertiveness - module 9

I have had, and probably still do, difficulty sometimes with knowing if someone is or isnt being genuine. That's probably their problem not mine, really.  I have to work it out in my head. Othertimes i know. So in fact I think juniper above, has great advice. 

My therapist recently said she's proud of my progress and I froze up a little because I didn't know how to respond.

What came out of my mouth was a half-hearted joke in "well, I'm glad someone is". I realise now I could have just said thank you but it can be a bit uncomfortable.

Well, I guess we’re odd if we do, cold if we don’t..

Practice saying thank you and will become easier eventually. 

Sometimes it's someone's way of giving what they can or trying to connect or seeing something worthwhile in you they appreciate. If it's questionable, you can always say thank you as a way of exiting the nonsense and let them worry about being indirect. :) 

It's hard to know if someone's just buttering me up or if they actually mean it, but then even if they did go out of their way to compliment me I'd tend to dismiss it.

I hate compliments - but my mum taught me when I was quite young that you just say thank you, then either move on to something else, or you find something kind to say in return. I like to make my compliments about non-physical things because I think they mean more that way. So - "I love your earings" is a nice thing to say but maybe "I love how warm you are as a person" is maybe even lovelier to say/hear.

I agree, cringe. I struggle to accept one without sounding arrogant. I now just say 'thabk you, that I'd kind of you'. Seems to work well

I’m older now, so I accept them, and I think that the person is being genuine, since no one made them comment. They are doing it because that’s what they think or see.

I don’t like compliments though, and would prefer to just brush them off.

Caelus said:

if someones acting nice or compliments you alot of the time it means they want something from you and are trying to butter you up

Sometimes it is because they fancy you and are hoping you will reciprocate and start the mating dance of chatting each other up. I've had this a few times and it was only when they actually said "look, are you going to ask me on a date or what" that I realised what was happening.

Lizard Queen said:

I find this difficult, I hate receiving compliments as they make me uncomfortable.

<engaging psychoanalysis mode>

Do you think this could be because subconciously you don't think you deserve the compliment?

Autistic people often have very low self worth, partly due to the rejections they have faced in society from an early age and when someone is positive towards them then they think it is either manipulative, fake or undeserved.

I would recomment just thanking the person for the compliment and moving on.

If it is a personal compliment (eg I love that t-shirt) then consider complimenting them back if you like the look of them - it there is no interest then it will stop at that but if that was a hook for more chatting up then they will take the conversation to another level that should be a little more obvious and it is time to look for signs of shown here ( https://www.regain.us/advice/friendship/is-she-interested-in-me-or-just-being-friendly-10-ways-to-tell/ )

Compliments are tough, because there are a lot of unwritten social rules that surround them, if there is anything I know about autistic people, it’s that unwritten rules are a problem.  
I just try to avoid it, if it comes naturally then fine, but yeah, I avoid it like I avoid the ‘birthday song’..

Sometimes I just smile in response  if I don’t know what to say (hopefully it actually looks like a smile, it feels like one )

I always just say thank you- if they mean it, that's a reasonable response, and if they don't it's going to infuriate them, so it's a win-win situation as far as I'm concerned.

I find this difficult, I hate receiving compliments as they make me uncomfortable. I find them weird and can't tell if they're being genuine. I more than likely ignore them and pretend it didn't happen or depending on the situation and who it is I'll say something I like about them, like if they have nice hair or are wearing something that stands out. 

Genuine or not, I don't think you can go wrong with a simple "thank you" and move the conversation on :)

i dunno.... compliments are cringe... i think perhaps thats what it is... its kinda like when its your birthday and everyone gathers around and makes it weird and starts singing you happy birthday in a public place and everyones then looking at you and its all cringe.... no one likes that, it really is cringe... thats what a compliment is like, its the same thing lol

also if someones acting nice or compliments you alot of the time it means they want something from you and are trying to butter you up, thats a common tactic used so many times in history that i think we develope a in built warning alert signal that when we get complimented we suddenly become aware that the person doing it may want something, may want to rip you off, sell you dodgy insurance, or have bad news.