Published on 12, July, 2020
I was wondering today if this is an autistic thing.
I've spent several decades collecting objects and the last decade+ trying to rid myself of the majority.
However, I have given up on the idea of ever being minimalist.
I notice that I remember where everything came from, even, when purchased, which shop in which town.
I try not to be sentimental about things, but sometimes I can't help it.
My mother, who I believe was autistic, was a hoarder in quite an extreme sense.
My autistic friend finds it very hard to part with belongings.
Everything has an association.
Are others like this and are there contributors here who are genuinely minimalistic and don't have an attachment to things?
I also have strong attachment to my belongings. That’s why I have a big stress if I can’t find something. Now it’s manageable but in the past there were huge meltdowns on daily basis mainly for this reason. I had to know where are all my things, that they are on their places in order to feel calm and comfortable.
I enjoy having sets of things, something going missing from a set is unbearable. It’s like part of me is missing. Benjamin Franklin wrote, “ A place for everything and everything in its place.” Maybe he was ND.
I can have meltdowns if I can't find things. My wife used to hide my wallet in drawers in case we ever got broken in to (!!??), but would not tell me. Cue hours of shouting and muttering. My inlaws comes every other week for childcare and they tidy up after tea, and put dishes back in the most unusual places, which infuriates me.
Certain objects have to be in certain places. It seems the only thing that causes meltdowns with me.
Bumping.
I like that these old threads from before my time are being bumped.
I have got less like this over the years, but I really had it strongly to start off with.
I would keep travel ticket stubs, flyers, museum programmes and all sorts of holiday reminders. You would be surprised how much space these paper things take up. They are stored in year numbered envelopes under the bed (It's funny how I have just realised another obvious example of my autism that I have never thought of before - thanks Debbie (formerly Debbie) ) I stopped collecting these in such an obsessive way in the past few years, but can't face throwing away what I have.
To spin this in a positive way, on me and my wife's tenth anniversary of getting together, I actually made a big scrapbook of those ten years, and it was super romantic and was really appreciated much more than any metal trinket. We still get it out every so often.
I have some really strange stuff, like shop catalogues from Japan which I can't actually read and wouldn't be interesting anyway. Japan is probably the biggest space taker for this stuff.
The things that I would never be able to get rid of would be my vinyl, CDs and DVDs.
You describe so much of me in your posts.
I keep things and could say I am a hoarder. It is more of I will keep this 'just in case' or I have a plan to do something with but never do. I find it difficult to get rid of anything and when I do I always feel a sense of loss or dread that I have made a mistake.
I am not neat and tidy but have piles of stuff everywhere but I somehow know where to find stuff as if I have a picture in my mind of the exact pile I can find it. Massive stress if I struggle to find something though.
Mark (formerly Spikey) said:I like that these old threads from before my time are being bumped.
It's good to hear that.
I am the 'deleted user' OP.
I created a library of threads called 'Library of Threads'. Imaginative name.
I once had RTMS (Repetitive Thread Making Syndrome) but I'm able to control it these days.
Mark (formerly Spikey) said:To spin this in a positive way, on me and my wife's tenth anniversary of getting together, I actually made a big scrapbook of those ten years, and it was super romantic and was really appreciated much more than any metal trinket.
I have always had very trong attachment to my belongings. When I was a teenager I couldn't stand it if something was missing. I had to know that I have everything on its place to be able to relax, The knowledge that something is missing caused me a huge anxiety and stress discomfort and anger. Now i manage these emotions and I know how to soothe myself. I had no idea at that time, that it may be linked to autism. But once I watched a documentary about a single mother taking care of her teenage autistic son. He had also intellectual disabilities but the issue she had with him was so similar to mine! She had to be very careful when cleaning his room, because if she misplaced some of his belongings, he had meltdown. It was long time ago, but that was one of those moments when I thought 'hey, it's so relatable!'.
Alienatedhuman said:the issue she had with him was so similar to mine! She had to be very careful when cleaning his room, because if she misplaced some of his belongings, he had meltdown. It was long time ago, but that was one of those moments when I thought 'hey, it's so relatable!'.
A eureka/lightbulb moment ...
Yes! Not only this one. Other time I went with my family to see an exhibition of pictures painted by autistic children. I was around 12. All my family members got bored quickly, they said that all these pictures are nonsense. I was the only one who understood, what was there. I showed them, look here is a forest and river, bird, here is a face, etc. They were shocked and my sis made fun of me and laughing she said that I'm also an autistic child.
Before I moved into my current property 23 years ago, I found out from talking to older people in my block that they were originally armed forces accommodation and as part of the agreement that the MoD made with the Council as part of the transfer of ownership, they had to do weekly property inspections when collecting rent to ensure that certain standards were being maintained by all tenants - in those days, council officials and police would check every room for any signs of clutter and would issue directives for more close supervision of “problem” tenants as they took a zero tolerance and zero patience approach to hoarding in line with Milltary discipline
Forced minimalism is another option.
Forced events that can cure the attachment blues.
forced to leave a rented space that is changing owners: 3 times
forced to leave a rented space in another country to escape localized political upheavals: 2 times
forced to leave a rented space for lack of funds: once
forced to leave rented space due to natural disaster: once
I got the memo, ok; I am now a default minimalist except for a vast digital library I keep on private offline servers.
Here are some pictures of my pre-minimalist life in my studio space I had over 10 years ago. This one I lost when they sold the building - the same year commercial space became illegal to live in, which was my default preference for studio/living space.