Life is hard

What a fascinating question! 

I've been working the problem for a lot of years now, and the key answer seems to be found in Jesus Christs wisdom when he said "The poor will always be with us"..

Some people do have the moxy to be able to take control of their lives and prosper like the O/P and some people simply do not. 

The key to being happy, whichever group you find yourself in, is not to resent the other guys, they might not have YOUR problems, but they do have their own that they are struggling with and it's very easy to miss that..

NAS86592 said:

This nanny state we are in  rankles me owing to the creation of generations growing up with the expectation the state owes them a living well beyond the needs of the needy.

I've noticed there have been a lot of posts on the site recently where people want more support from the state  - do you think this is justified?

If not, how do you think those of limited financial independence can get to the level of self realisation that you have?

An honest question - I'm in favour of taking control too but it seems to be very difficult for many people.

Desmond79 said:

I weaned myself off overdependence, over the years. It isn't easy, but the rewards are there.

I learned at an early age to stand on my own two feet with a firm handshake. This nanny state we are in  rankles me owing to the creation of generations growing up with the expectation the state owes them a living well beyond the needs of the needy. Taking responsibility for one's actions IS rewarding.

I've availed myself of the service given, found a guy who looks like he could be helpful.

If I can find a way of paying him, that looks promising.

Kudos for supplying the practical help...

thanks. it seems the vulnerabilities of zoom have been improved, which is good, but i would prefer, at least initially, doing it face-to-face.

Touay said:

i'm not sure about doing anything like that over the internet

The technology is secure and so long as you have a private environment to do it in then it can work well.

Think of the advantages of getting the best specialist without having to travel long distances each time, the money you will save on transport, the lack of health risk from public transport or being in close proximity to someone who may or may not have the flu / covid etc.

If getting the private space is an issue then you can always part the car (assuming you have one) somewhere quiet, hotspot your phone to the laptop and do it from there - I've done this once or twice.

I recommed getting a headset so that no-one can overhear the therapists side of the conversation at least. I used the headphones that came with my mobile phone as they have a microphone built in as well.

This is just to highlight the benefits - if you prefer face to face then I think many of the therapists do this too, which is why you can also search by location to see who is close to you.

Thanks Iain. I'll take a look, but i'm not sure about doing anything like that over the internet.

Hi

Are you getting financial support, as that's important,

if not I can help direct you to the relevant organisations.

Touay said:

my issue is finding anyone local with experience of autism

Face to face therapy is becoming an outdated concept - if you have a computer with webcam (eg laptop ot tablet) or at a push a mobile phone then you can do the therapy online. I've done this from my initial meeting with a psychiatrist to the subsequent therapy with psychotherapists.

You don't even need special software - they send links to Zoom sessions which your web browser should be able to handle without and problem.

All you really need is privacy for the session and an internet connection (I used to hotspot connect from my mobile phone when I had to).

To find a therapist I can recommned:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/counselling

Select your location and on the ISSUES box chose Autism:

You can then look at the profile of the therapists and work out which one seems suitable for you.

I have no connection with the company other than as a user of their services.

I Sperg said:

My diagnostician looked ta me and told me point blank "there's noting we can do for you."

Have you tried a different therapist? Some have way more experience than others and can come up with different approaches to the issues you are experiencing.

I could have written that. Word for word. Is nice to see someone else speak my truth.

My diagnostician looked ta me and told me point blank "there's noting we can do for you."

hi. i could manage that for a short time. my issue is finding anyone local with experience of autism who is either not coming across as unqualified or very expensive.

Touay said:

i had and am having a hard time dealing with certain aspects

Are you able to organise and pay for therapy? This is probably your best option to deal with these aspects quickly and effectively.

Costs are about £50/hour so not cheap, but a few hours a month makes a huge difference in my opinion.

While i agree I should be lower on the priority list than many, finding out you are autistic was very traumatic for me.  Some help with sorting through things would have been very beneficial.

i had and am having a hard time dealing with certain aspects ... I can only imagine what it would be like for someone not blessed with my moderately high iq.

Mark said:

Nobody's giving me any support. And mental health services aren't interested in helping me either. It's not that they're under-funded or anything; they don't even try to help!

Can I ask what you expect that support to look like please?

I think you will find they do have very little funding for the volume of support that the community needs. I believe part of that is them not being able to recruit and train staff in the volumes they need because of the low salaries offered and the pressures that these jobs bring.

In the scale of needs, the "low requirements"  or "high functioning" or "aspergers" (chose the label you prefer) people on the spectrum have largely got the capacity to self support if they apply themselves, so are largely de-prioritised by the support services.

Not everybody has this capacity I realise but as a group we are probably low on the priority list for them and with good reason. Those with physical needs and much higher support requirements are the ones who should get the limited resources available.

I know this opinion will not be a popular one, but it makes sense when you take others in higher levels of need into consideration.

Nobody's giving me any support. And mental health services aren't interested in helping me either. It's not that they're under-funded or anything; they don't even try to help!

Sounds like a good church... 

I Sperg said:

The frigging well should be!! Otherwise it's not a functioning church, it's something else..

The local one for me was mid weel community events when it was really to get people together and acting like a community again after spendig so much time cowering indoors away from covid.

There was no hard sell on joining the church, believing in God or contributing to the church roof fund - just an excuse for the community to regenerate with the church acting as the catalyst.

There were interesting conversations with the pastor as I'm an athiest and opposed to organised religion as a principle (I'm fine with people having faith, but organised religion has historically been used to keep the masses in check).

The discussions about proof and faith were engaging, enthusiastic and well mannered and I loved the chat. I'll certainly be back when I'm next in the UK.

Hi Katy,

I wish there was more support for autistic people too. Sometimes life can feel like a battle can’t it? You’re not alone in feeling like that. I find this community is so supportive, friendly and welcoming. 
i agree that the services for autistic people are poor, and that mental health services are often very poor. 
Having said that I’m seeing an nhs therapist at the moment who is actually really helping me, so it’s not all bad (although I had to wait for a year and a half to get help). 
Sending you all best wishes and solidarity x

And that my friends is EXACTLY why I started doing "Zoom Film night"!

I figured that for the really socially disadvantaged a "Virtual Venue" where you could participate exactly as much or as little as you chose would be helpful to some. 

I (initially) picked the best, most "universally appealing" films that I knew of, although of late it's taken a distinctly Masculine turn to suit the actual audience that I have.

But there was ALMOST zero demand for it...

The irony being, that since I am personally fairly unreliable I got a more reliable friend to give me a call to make sure I start on time, and HE sure likes film night... So for the last six months I've been running it for a single person, who is not a member of this forum and certainly is NOT socially disadvantaged!. 

This week, tomorrow at six O'Clock, I shall be showing (and viewing) film 1 in the "Robocop" trilogy. Next week will (probably) be either "A for andromeda" or "2001 a space odyssey"... 

I think I'm managing around 90% reliability when it comes to hitting my start time, but I tend to ignore the times when I've started a few minutes (within five) late, otherwise it'd probably be closer to 10% reliable.... 

"There is a religious overtone to some of these "

The frigging well should be!! Otherwise it's not a functioning church, it's something else..