Published on 12, July, 2020
As an alcoholic with over eleven years of sobriety in the bank, I would say a categorical yes in answer to your question. I was working full time and getting promotions whilst my alcoholism progressed. Looking back now, I can see why alcohol was my ‘cheat code’ to quickly dropping the mask as soon as I was home from work and could relax away from people.
That sounds really tough, congratulations on your sobriety that's great to hear. What kind of job did you do btw? I sounds like it must have been very intense.
I was a nurse. Met quite a few nurses in AA when I used to attend meetings in early sobriety. Thinking back to how many of us would sit in meetings and say that we had never really fitted in, and were essentially chasing dopamine and struggling with people in general from an early age, it really does make me wonder how many of the women especially have gone on to explore whether they are autistic or not.
I think with people, I was so desperate to help, to actually make a difference to someone, anyone, to develop some sort of self-worth, that nursing fitted me like a glove in that respect. My parents also pushed me towards it, as I wanted to ‘make a difference’ somehow. So yes, the idea of Autistics all being completely devoid of empathy is too much of a sweeping statement, but I guess as with all autistic characteristics, some apply a lot to some, and not at all to others.the emotional toll was huge though, and the wheels began to fall off as soon as I started living with my (now) husband. I could only cope with the job because I had the remaining 16 hours of each day/ night cycle away from all other people.
Ah, now animals is another matter entirely! I owed pet rats at the same time as my nursing career, and I ended up changing to cats when I got sober as I couldn’t cope with the near constant cycle of illness in death. Rats are fantastic pets, but too big personalities and intelligence in such a short lifespan. Absolutely broke my heart every time.
It's actually not too surprising now you say what the job was, it looks like it's just gotten even tougher over the years too. To hear you say that theory about Autistic women in nursing though, really blows the "lack of empathy" stereotype out of the window doesn't it. I certainly have always thought we autists actually have empathy in perhaps over abundance to our own detriment at times. I was set on the path to become a vet at one point but after my own dogs had to be put to sleep I realised it would just crush my soul to have to be the one to do it on any kind of regular basis. And it wouldn't be much good to have your vet crying whilst you are, the whole room would flood with tears. So it really ruined that career path for me, and I'm scared to get another dog, people think it's because I don't like them but it's not true, I love them and can't bear the heartbreak of eventually going through that again. Sorry to swing it about my issues there I guess it's just how I express my empathy by talking about related feelings.I think your insights into an autistic perspective on being in the health care sector could be a really enlightening read, if you ever decide to write and share more about it I'd like to read it.