Published on 12, July, 2020
Thinking about it more. Well it's actually interesting to think about it. I can be less socially anxious after few drinks. Is this unmasking?.
I think that I'm trying to ask. Is social anxiety part of the mask?. If yes then I definitely mask less with alcohol hehe.
I think that I'm confused because masking is a way to blend in. Smile more, look in the eye, talk more which are just ways to hide how uncomfortable I am with a certain social context. Alcohol makes me talk more, more energy, less anxiety so it passes in my description as perfect mask.
Well, sorry for adding more and more replies but it's interesting to me. Well, true that I tend to have more energy, as jump and run or dance. Much les anxiety and slightly more chatty thanks to that but the reasoning behind the change is very different. I say more, but more of what I actually think or feel at the moment. Not more of what I think is acceptable. Still, if I want to handle a social situation well, alcohol is helpful so I've always considered it "the ultimate mask".
No. It's just the first time I realise that being socially comfortable is still me being my true unmasked self. I've always connected my authentic self to social anxiety as if it's the only truth I could possibly live. Therefore, I considered alcohol just another way to mask. Now, I'm thinking well, maybe not. Maybe I actually can be genuinely socially comfortable sometimes and that would still be my true self!. I have been uncomfortable in certain social contexts specially in group chats since I was a kid.
oh? Do have a new insight?
It's starting to become clear
I don't think social anxiety itself is part of the mask, but I think it is a reason behind why we mask, so maybe inadvertently by feeling less need to mask you just do mask less?I asked this question because when I went out for drinks recently with the aforementioned friend, they noticed after 3-4 drinks in that my range of stimms increased.(ADHD friend also stimms so knows what they're looking at when they see it, also I don't go in for anything light, and for context if I'm gonna be sober I'm sober and if I'm gonna drink it must be over %35 vol so 4 drinks does knock the mask off just fine.) Now we (friend and me) are develping a theory together that I have smaller subtler coping stimms for when I'm in public and stressed, but that I also have chill and happy background stimms that are more "full on" that I'm subconsiously repressing as part of the mask (because the public mask was made very early in my life) when I'm totally sober.It was actually my friend that formed this idea a while back but after a few more meet ups and self observations I think there is something to what they say.You make a interesting point though about alcohol being like a social lubricant. I wonder if it's because of the way it affects NTs that we may end up drinking with that they become more forgiving of what they erroneously peg as a social faux pas rather than an autistic expression, because they are also mre "free flowing" and may just think that the autistic expression is not you "everybody gets a bit hyped or blunt when drinking alchohol".