Can't work

I can only get work if someone else does my applications, which means apart fro a 16 year period when I had someone to do that I've either had no work, or intermittent work.

Once I got my Autism diagnosis I know why, and obtaining work, was relegated to room 101.

recently my inbox has started filling up with well paid work of a type I am very suited to, on job looked so up my street that I tried an application, both the usual way using my C.V. held on file, and also directly reaching out to the recruiter to explain my issues around the applicatopn process.

Imagine how delighted I was to receive an email inviting me to call the recruiter on the telephone.

I got a lovely chat where I got to explain myself, which ended with "send me your C.V..."  

I rarely lie, but the alternative was to scream at the lady, so I said yes I would, and walked away from the pointless activity and went back to bed.

The computer programming and research, but my skills are out of date, I haven't got recent relevant references and HR people hate me.

Many years ago I got through several stages of interviews for graduate recruitment at the Barclays Bank computer centre, I passed all the attitude tests, but I failed the HR department interview, they don't want people like me.

You have a very varied employment history, which job suited you best/did you enjoy most?

I totally agree given what I’ve seen during Covid and looking at Irish history 

I once saw someone prove that 89% of your income goes back into the government and banking straightaway in the form of fees and taxes & "interest".

Why should we carry those voracious parasites?

I don't mind the poor so much, they don't expect a fat life off the backs of others, they do hope for a thin one though...

And why is it that if I insure my Daimler 4 litre luxury car it's ony 250 quid a year fully comp, but my little flatbed truck is £1300 for private use only and £3000 before I do a single job with it? Hmmm.

You wouldn't NEED 2K a month if the economy was run straight and not exclusivley for the benefit of the fat cats. This Keynesian "thrickle down" economy is them peeing on us, and expecting us to be gratefuil for the warmth...

I agree and in addition, I was advised a long time ago to find what you're good at and enjoy doing, then find someone to pay you to do it.

Don't "work" find the thing you are good at and enjoy, and do lots of that, instead.

I've worked as:

1. A computer programmer
2. A support worker
3. Market researcher
4. Clerical assistant
5. Scientific research.

Thing is too, that it’s also a “catch 22” in that those jobs that are suitable/ideal for autism require qualifications and/or relevant experience that one does not have, say from 30 years in supermarket retailing - working in a new build hotel after 17 years in one supermarket (aside from 3 years not working due to Covid and after redundancy) was a hugely unsettling experience, especially with no post-diagnostic supports in place 

I am so sorry this happens to you, I am sure you would be an asset to a workplace/business. Employers just shouldn’t make assumptions about your capabilities as an autistic person/are not willing to understand the needs of our neurodivergent community. What kind of jobs have you tried before?

That’s the thing isn’t it, we’d all like to be paid £2k per month for doing nothing, but someone has to work to pay for that, but why should they? 

Would maybe working part time work? I know for me it’s not necessarily the WORK that overwhelms me it’s the being in a place I don’t want to be or doing something I don’t want to do at the time. Doesn’t really matter where or what work. I want to be home!! So I managed to find a career that I could make a decent living at but not be there 40hrs a week. Not perfect by any means. Perfect would have been no work. But that wouldn’t be perfect either!! Know what I mean? Confusing…. But maybe there is something you could live with part time? Sorry if redundant. But it is based on my own experience and life coping strategies. 

Thank you for your replies. I'm feeling well and truly exhausted now! I'll focus on me and recovering from this experience for the time being. I'll try and look in to working again in the future but when, I don't know. My Mum wants me to be a hairdresser like her but I can't stand the feel of hair on my skin and hands so that's no good. I don't think I'd be able to cope with the chit chat that people seem intent on doing when having their hair cut. I'm very tired at the moment. Thanks again. The support and love here is overwhelming! It is all appreciated!

What do you do, if you don't mind me asking?

It is about finding what is right for you. I have always pushed myself to be normal, that voice overwhelms my autistic voice, will it did until 2020, its now abit more balanced. last year I was made redundant from a job after 13 years. I got a new job straight away and I hated it. Massive micro managenet and tracking, after 8 weeks I quit. That was one of the bravest things I have ever done. Took a month off and took time for myself. Then got the job I have now. I still hate working but this is much more bareable. 

I have got stuck in a loop that I can only do the same job I have done for 25 years. We are semi retiring in 2 years and I am scared to death that I will have to get a very diffrent job. Even if I know its for the best and that job will be mush less stressful on me than what I have now. 

Indeed I would love not to work. Forced myself to do it for 33 years and would like nothing more but to never go to work again. If somebody would just pay me £2k a month to do nothing it would be perfect.

Billy87 said:

like being a person with a fork in a world of soup

I’ve never heard that expression before but I love it!

On the advice of others, I'm wondering how people afford to not work? I can't find a way out of working in ways which make me sick

Hey Texan, so sorry to hear about your experiences today. I have been through this so many times, sometimes I have curled up on the floor on the morning of a job interview and not been able to go. Other times I have got on the trian to go to a job and just ended up locking myself in the train station bathroom and then getting on a train somewhere else instead cos I couldnt face it and many other things that would take too long to say on here.

Please dont blame yourself. You are not poorly equipped and incapable of dealing with life at all. You are wonderfully equipped and able, its just that you are equpped for a neurodiverse world while sadly we are living in an NT world. I read a wonderful discription once that it is like being a person with a fork in a world of soup. Its not your fault, none of it is.

Just take some time to rest and be kind to yourself, spend time in things that comfort you and things you are interested in and then when you are ready you might find there is a line of work that suits you more and if there isnt then that is ok too

I agree. The strength it takes to apply and interview for a job is considerable.