Bullies from the past.

Just interested if anyone else has met a person in adult life who bullied them at school.

My father ran a small coach business, the yard had an office and occasionally people would book a coach in person. One day I was on my own in the yard, I would have been about 35 then. One of the school bullies turned up to book a coach. He was one of the worst ones, anyway he greeted me like an old friend, it shocked me and I was like a rabbit in the headlights. He really was after ‘mates rates’,  I really didn’t know how to deal with him, had he forgotten or thought it was just a bit of fun, I couldn’t work it out, I started to wonder, did the years of abuse actually happen? But  they are too vivid, they did happen. Another thought was, he’s pushing me for a cheap price, is he trying to bully me again. I so wanted to ask him why he did it but couldn’t. My father luckily came back to the yard and dealt with his enquiry. 
Has anything similar happened to anyone else?

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  • Well I can't speak for anyone else and I've never pretended to, and I only report things that break the rules of the forum so if you think I've been reporting you then that must mean either you got caught by the bot or you've actually broken a rule.
    If you don't like that the report button exists and think it's just a tool for an "agenda" take it up with the mods, but it exists for a reason. Things like Hate Speech isn't an opinion like "pineapple doesn't belong on pizza", and it isn't allowed on the forum for good reason, it's in the rules you and I agreed to when we signed up to the forum so if someone is reporting things that go against the rules for mod review it's legit use not "silencing". In fact this forum is privately run it isn't a public platform at all, there never was any "free speech" (that word doesn't mean what people think it means) here long before any of us joined so if you think people reporting rule breaking is having an agenda you need to go make your own site to complain about it on because your slander is stale, and you can consider this a cease and desist letter. It's not my fault you have a fabricated version of me living rent free in your head. Do not talk to me again, otherwise I will be forced to report you because this inability of yours to let these vivid imaginings go once politely corrected, and I have been nothing but polite til now, is now harassment.

  • Ultimately the report function exists to prevent exposing further users to harmful content. If used correctly it does improve the quality of the forum.

    But it hasn't been, has it?

    Certain agenda driven people have been using it covertly to try and silence points of view to which they do not ascribe, I have it n good authority, and that information is backed up evidentially speaking the campaign of spurious accusations that was waged unsuccessfully against my own account some time ago..

    So you'll understand why that trust will be difficult to rebuild.

    I don't have any intention of trusting people who have proven themselves to go beyond simply finding a forum participants opinion incompatible to their own to pursuing a simultaneous overt and covert attack "at the drop of a hat" before even making sure of their grounds. Such people once they reveal themselves, are impossible to trust.

    Those would-be "forum shapers" are quite poisonous initially, until everyone gets wise to who they are... 

    The same people crop up in the workplace of course, and clubs and other human gatherings. Some of them can be quite useful after they calm down, I understand to the people who actually do run things, and sometimes they flounder, that depends on the overall quality of the society/forum/workplace. 

    Here, they don't seem to last long or get much traction with their "power plays".

    It's one of the things I really like about my fellow Autists, they usually have their heads quite well screwed on about the things that really matter. Not always, but usually.

  • Those of you who engage in "forum warfare", (myself even, when I get sucked into it, however briefly) are not improving this place for everyone, no matter how good our intentions may be.

    Ultimately the report function exists to prevent exposing further users to harmful content. If used correctly it does improve the quality of the forum.

    It's a bit sad, and just causes ill feeling, but people insist on doing that stuff.

    People also cause ill feeling by deliberately pointing the gun at others to falsely accuse them of doing so too. But myself, Debbie, and Shardovan, were merely speculating based on the possible pattern as at the time observable, it's others coming out of the woodwork afterwards as though their ears were burning that is suspicious. So you'll understand why that trust will be difficult to rebuild.

  • Well, there is "tactical use " of the reporting feature going on, this is known by me to be a thing done by other people who wish to control what is and is not said. It's a bit sad, and just causes ill feeling, but people insist on doing that stuff.

    But there also seems to be technical problems too, with a simple youtube link somehow automatically drawing three your post has been reported notifications seemingly Automatically.

    Those of you who engage in "forum warfare", (myself even, when I get sucked into it, however briefly) are not improving this place for everyone, no matter how good our intentions may be.

  • Odd isn't it Sperg, because you'd think the posts that have been going missing if reported in good faith would be in someway actually divisive, not stuff like "what's your fave TV show?"

  • It does. 

    Such people lie in wait and then leap out like a troll from under a bridge when they imagine you've said something with which they disagree. Then they run around reporting people to the mods and cause as much trouble as they can, over the most trivial stuff. 

    In between complaining about, well, everything and everyone really.

    Best avoided.