Published on 12, July, 2020
I joined here around 5 months ago.
Since that time it's come to mean different things to me.
I think sharing experiences is invaluable but equally invaluable is the honesty I find here.
It's a place where we can talk about shared experience /our emotions/difficulties in a way that's impossible in the 'real' world - or at least if we speak about it there, it's unlikely to be understood.
It's a place to connect in a world where we often find connecting difficult.
I've received some PMs recently that have made me focus more on how very important this community can be to us as individuals.
Luna RIP called this her 'forum family'.
As a person who doesn't seek friendship (?or thinks she doesn't?), some surprising and valuable friendships have evolved from here for me.
How about you?
I was just trying to pick your mind and have you expand upon your meaning.. I was hoping you would make an understanding..
I'm not sure I understand the question.
What do you need..?
I don't feel I fully fit in here either, but in my case it's due to being an Orthodox Jew. Some of us have an extra side to our lives beyond autism that makes it even harder to find people on our wavelength.
And I also don't see ASD as a super-power, nor need 24/7 support.
DeSpereaux said:Well you do make the best threads Deb, ‘
Hi Debbie welcome back
Good to see you Debbie
Thank you
Good idea ^^
I went for a walk today and have been in bed since. When I stand I feel really unsteady.
My 'busy motorway' is keeping my head occupied. Really annoying.
I often feel distant from people though I am starting to feel a little less alone now in some ways.
Masking isn't always obvious. Until today talking here I didn't realise that I actually mask pretty much all the time. I'm trying not to do this now.
I don't get any support in RL from the people in my life. I think it's just masking that allows me to function and get through life. I need to find healthier ways to cope.
Good to see you Debbie. Thank you for making this thread. I have enjoyed reading it and also found it moving at times.
Well you do make the best threads Deb, ‘word association’ is the second most replies thread ever, in 17 days..!
Thank you everyone for these replies.
I have found reading them quite moving.
I'm not aware of ever having masked. WYSIWYG with me. I don't have that ability to process things in real time, and adjust accordingly. That , and the fact that not many people here, or on wrong planet, talk about the support they get in order to maintain a healthy,if somewhat basic, lifestyle- often makes feel like a distant autistic relative,rather than a close autistic relative.
For me it is a place of friendship, understanding and support - a place we can be ourselves without fear.
I am grateful for you all.
firemonkey said:My self confidence/esteem/ worth are gossamer thin.
Then keep dipping in here....hopefully we'll keep you topped up with your badly needed booster shots.....and maintain you at knicker elastic thicknesses?!
It isn't too bad and means I mask a bit less now because I don't have the bandwidth. Or that might just be getting older. Use the fatigue to double up on getting out of things you'd rather not do. Every cloud etc!
Don't worry about what others think of you. You're awesome how you are and if they can't see it that's their loss :-)
That's good advice, but advice I struggle to follow due to the long term effects of what my care coordinator come depot nurse has called 'bullying related trauma'. I can have 9 people say positive things about me, only to end up feeling like I'm no good because the 10th person has been very negative towards me. My self confidence/esteem/ worth are gossamer thin.
For me it's the fact that someone always has a valid response to whatever is posted. Out there in the 'real' world the things talked about on here would draw blank stares or rolled eyes from those that can't relate. It's a confidence boost to know I can post pretty much anything and someone will say they've had the same experience or similar. I'm not alone!
:-/ CFS and autism are a bad combination.
I was recently diagnosed with CFS, I'm actually pretty curious now if masking is potentially behind some of that?
I would say a resounding "yes".
Thank you for caring and for the support. I will try my best to stop masking. I think where I've done it so much it's now the 'norm' but I have heard from you and other lovely people how harmful it can be so I will try my hardest to turn this around before it causes me serious problems.
I'm so sorry about your burnout by the way. That must have been awful for you. And I'm sorry you had to go through most of your life masking. I'm glad things are much improved for you now and I hope you'll not feel the effects of burnout again.