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Hello!

NAS84040

Hello all,

I hope I am in the right place. I have just been partially diagnosed ASD  Asperger syndrome, waiting for a full assessment. 
the NHS is in disarray and I may have to wait up to 3 years. 
is it worth going private?

i am not sure I can wait that long. My scores are 100% and my pre-assessment therapist has advised me to stop imitating or I will have a breakdown. 
but this is a shock to everyone, as all my filters are now gone. My son is 26 and is very opinionated… finally causing another burn out. Argued with my wife for 3 hours after even though she understands me well and has been a great support throughout the years. 
but I feel awful and thought terrible things last night…. That my life is not worth it after 50 years of masking…. I am completely exhausted… I am looking for help, support and advice…. I am one of the lost generation!! 

i also have years of masking experience if it helps…. 

  • in reply to Deleted User

    That’s great advice. Doing that already as I am highly functional. Just trying to find my range now. I really appreciate your insight. Ty

  • Welcome - and congratulations on finding this place at a good time for you ! (albeit - goes without saying, would have been more helpful sooner!!)

    May I suggest that you use the search above to find old threads about your current feelings as a 50+ in the "WTAF" realms of realisation about yourself.  Also, for what it is worth, please also remember that your wife will similarly be in a "WTAF" realm of her own at this news!  I think that, in many respects, it is harder for our nearest-and-dearest to cope with the news when (like you report) you are an accomplished masker.  You can see inside your own head now and be confident that you are in the WTAF realm for real......whereas your wife is probably more akin to WTAF do I even know my husband anymore / has he just gone mad / what am I supposed to do with news for myself?!  Understandable.

    Please don't do anything too dramatic at this stage of your journey !  When everyone is feeling the WTAF vibe, I think it is arguably fair to say that this is NOT the best time to be taking too much drastic action.  Read lots.  Walk lots.  Stay calm. Stay in this place and speak with us all.......we do know and do understand.

  • I am a similar age and have been waiting since Feb 2019, but some places are much quicker. I would take some time to do some reasearch, there are some good youtubers in particular that helped me. Try and look deeper into who you are and try and understand yourself. Understand your limits and when to step away from issues. Once my wife knew about my ASD, and she mentioned it about 5 years before I looked into it, things became simpler at home. We both then knew why some things happened that annoyed her. I used to be accused of on purpose leaving things for her to do becuase I knew she would. In reality I just did not notice that thing needed doing. Take some time for yourself if you can, don't feel preassured. I try to take one day each weekend for me, no jobs, no chores etc. I know it is not always that simple but try what works in your life. It is a long journey but you can get through it.

  • Makes me appreciate my diagnosis, in the early Nineties, as it made me Old Fashioned; as a Man. Slight smile

    It all depends on how much you can afford. If you can, go for it. 

  • in reply to The Commander

    Thank you for the kind welcome. This is the most meaningful thing I’ve heard since my doctor’s appointment 

  • Best wishes to you, a formal diagnosis is a great help. The next stage for me was to fully understand myself before helping others to understand. 
    One thing is for sure, you are far from alone. This forum is packed with like minded (literally: ) individuals each with their similar and unique perspectives. Many happy to give advice and others happy to give support or both. 
    Glad to hear from you and welcome to the club.