Better for you now or in the past?

You are too understated in your assessment of Alicia Vikander (in my opinion).....she is actually breath-takingly gorgeous.  I also think Ex Machina is an excellent and compelling film.

For me, worse, much much worse.

I'm on record as saying I think when targeted at people with autism cancel culture is not just bad, it's often actually a form of discrimination.

You see I've thought about psycho-sexual counselling but at the end of the day I think there is a real risk it might boil down to women, at least the women I'm attracted to, just don't find me attractive. And really there's no counselling to help with that.

Actually in the olden days when the internet had fewer photos I had some luck making connections with women online. But in quite a few cases everything fizzled out once they saw what I looked like in real life. I even ran an experiment where I signed up two profiles to a dating site. One with my photo and one with the photo of an obscure z list catalog model. Needless to say the one with the model's photo was much more successful. It was kind of heartbreaking when I ended the experiment. The women all accused me of deceiving them, which I did, and I accused them of being shallow, which they were. But it confirmed what many suspect but few get to test, it was my face that was the problem.

Zoe, I could not be more in agreement with your text.

But I rather abruptly found some contentment and happiness anyway, recently.

I'm also very tired, but I found a mindset that allows me to enjoy the good things and try to DO SOMETHING about the bad things and I like it more than feeling like a depressed loser, my previous mindset, so I'm keeping hold of it! (and trying to share it too) 

One quick google later, looks like a viable candidate for "film night"..

There's a film I love 'Ex Machina'

I really like that film too. I also love 'Inception', although many people apparently think it isn't very good.

I think over the last couple of years i feel better about things. Although my health has gone worse and worse, there are things that upset me and i worried about, what people thought of me, in the past. But as i've got older, i don't worry so much, i don't care what others may think or say about me. It's all like water off a ducks back.

Also, mobile phones/texting and email mean that I no longer have to make phone calls (including from phone boxes!).

The luxury of tech

Now

In the past I was in a children's home

Bad memories. I don't know what my mum and dad were like, great looking like me I expect  

Life is good now. I've got my health my games and a positive outlook on life 

Billy87 s thread about smart phones reminded me of this thread.

When you've lived as long as I have you have a lot to evaluate and experience of those times that some young people now might romanticise.

'The Good Old Days'.

My mum and dad would sometimes talk about the past and although there are some areas of their young lives in the 1930s and 1940s that seem attractive, I still think that I'd rather live now.

However, as Billy has pointed out, we have choice.

We can choose, with regard to modern living, what to embrace and what to reject.

out_of_step said:

It has to be pulled pork stuffed crust hand rolled in unicorn glitter ***.

I agree.

LOL.  Where can I get some?

Also, something which I find difficult (or frustrating or annoying) is that everything has to be a *thing* nowadays. Like....people don't just seem content these days for margarita pizza or vanilla ice cream. It has to be pulled pork stuffed crust hand rolled in unicorn glitter ***. Everything has to be bigged up or have its own brand...including people. I know someone who drives half an hour at least once a week to a particular shop for nothing in particular because it's so *amazing*. I blame social media for this one. It has made people more conspicuous in their consumption because it has to be shared on instagram and liked (validated). Or people see it and they want a slice.  As stuff gets more and more saturated,  it has to be set apart from everything else but at the same time nothing seems special anymore. Even my friends who purport to be "against the tide" when it comes to trends still partake in this nonsense. 

Deleted user said:

I choose now being better for those reasons and also cause I now have knowledge on the real me and that feeling is great. I feel normal for the first time and I'm going to hang on to it forever.

Nice to read such a positive response.

I will say now as I only just found out I'm autistic. And to be fair my childhood wasn't a great one. There was a lot of masking and my dad bullied me -- he's out of my life now but it's left deep deep scars. I choose now being better for those reasons and also cause I now have knowledge on the real me and that feeling is great. I feel normal for the first time and I'm going to hang on to it forever.

I find this era of Cancel Culture rather frustrating.

Comedy is a sanctuary for me and helps to keep me relatively sane. However, as the comedian David Baddiel said in a documentary about social media, all it takes is for a comedian to say one wrong thing and that's their comedy career over as a result of Cancel Culture.

There was a time when people seemed more willing to accept that comedy often involved pushing boundaries, particularly stand-up comedy. There are a lot of comedians I like, and also a lot that I don't because I find their style of humour offensive, or it just doesn't appeal to my own sense of humour. Do I think those comedians should be cancelled? No! I might not consider them amusing, but I know there will be plenty of other people that do.

I'm increasingly finding that much of the comedy on TV these days is just far too safe and bland for my liking.

That happened to me many a time too. The dilemma of wondering whether to stay put and wait, or have a walk around in search of the other person.

I remember wondering how long to wait then find the person I was waiting for at a different entrance.

NAS65321 said:

If it wasn't for internet dating I would still be a virgin!

This is a good example of where the internet can enrich our lives.

In 1994 at the age of 32 I saw my GP because I was still a virgin.

He wasn't interested + gave me the address of a mental health charity to write to.

In desperation I called into a sexual health clinic (very upset) and they referred me to NHS psycho-sexual counselling.

This service was in the same city as my GP so why didn't he refer me?

With many months of help from a lovely psychologist I overcame my problem, which has a name.

With the internet I could have found out all this on my own without being hindered by a useless GP.

These are the situations that change the course of a life.

Interesting idea. Certianlly in the 80's/90's pre internet there was less preassure on life in general, and less preassure to be 'normal'. However ASD was really not known about then so we were just diffrent, and I really tried to hide that. Tech has made life better, I agree on the phone calls, I have always hated them. If it wasn't for internet dating I would still be a virgin!

I have gone through mental health phases (teenage hell, 20's anxiety) but it has been circumstances more reciently that have caused me issues, just as they would somebody 'normal'. I am stronger than I was back then, but that is because I have my wife. I am now looking forward to semi retirement in a couple of years.