Published on 12, July, 2020
Hey! I was wondering if anyone here has had or has an eating disorder? I feel like I have had almost all of them (anorexia, ARFID, bulimia, binging...). Luckily I don't have them anymore (took me like 7 years) but I am still very interested in the topic and wondering if you are struggling with the same issues. So do you have any eating disorder or have you had one? How did it start and if you managed to heal yourself, how did you do it?
I love your pic PFP. I grew up on a farm and got to see pigs every day at one point they are actually really cute and gentle animals in some cases.
Yes I have an eating disorder. It's part autism and part of my mental health problems. On one hand I suffer with the autism and eating and on the other my mental problems are a big challenge which affects my eating. Yeesh how I dream of a problem free existence.
Yes I do... I struggle a lot with digestive issues (IBS style), ARFID-type issues, tendency to eat the same thing over and over etc. I was not believed by professionals when I said that my issues were not related to weight/shape concerns and I eventually got desperate and I spent ages trying to convince myself that I must have anorexia... because I was so frustrated that my problems did not fit into a category and that noone seemed to be able to help- This misdiagnosis caused a lot of damage and eventually also led to lots of binging (which I then also wasn't believed about... ie doctors thinking I must call normal portions a binge... but I doubt 9 ice creams or a whole cake etc in one sitting count as 'normal...'.) - now I struggle with that too - I got so used to trying to push myself to eat more than I felt comfortable with and part of me always feels like eating more can fix my problems... which of course it can't ... I finally found a good dietitian 2 years ago, who not only spent that time convincing me that I in fact definitely do not have anorexia (which I had known deep down for a long time) and also realised that I am autistic. I still struggle a lot with food and I loose weight extremely easily - it is very frustrating as I feel like if I eat in a way that makes my digestive issues managable I end up loosing weight, whereas if I push myself to eat more (even if it is very reasonable and not excessive), it upsets my digestion and I suffer a lot. Over the past years it usually goes like this... I try to protect my digestion, end up unintentionally loosing weight- I worry about it- i try to add in more food, eventually I end up so underweight - i try to gain weight in a relatively tolerable way for my digestion - it doesn't work- I get desperate and convince myself i must have anorexia... I end up having to resort to lots of junk food and forcing myself to eat to gain back the weight- it's absolute agony- i cannot do it anymore... so once I am back to a normal weight I try to transition to something that feels more comfortable digestion wise and is healthier... I end up loosing weight again... it's driving me mad as I would just love to be able to eat to meet my body's needs without the digestive issues and without force feeding. I know that stress plays a huge part for me too... and I naturally tend to loose weight easily (I recently was trying so hard and got through 2 jars of peanut butter with bread as snacks only in a week... on top of regular meals... and still lost weight... i didn't tolerate it well, so I gave up and I am now fading away again... )- sorry I feel like I am rambling on... i'm very frustrated at the moment.
Hiya,
Are you female? just because i did a research paper on the underdiagnosis of females with ASD and found that females with autism are likely to develop an eating disorder, so just curious. you don't have to answer
yeah i have struggled with an eating disorder, which was never diagnosed. it started when i got my first boyfriend, so 13. he started sitting with me and my friends for lunch and i don't feel comfortable eating in front of many people and he wasn't one of those people so i didn't eat all day. and would throw my lunch in the bin. then when we broke up, i didn't have the confidence to start eating in front of people again. i also liked that the number on the scales was reducing. that kinda continued for about 2.5 years. then in lockdown, i wasn't seeing anyone so i stopped caring about what i ate and i put on a lot of weight. to which i decided i had to drastically lose before going back to school (that's when i started starving myself and throwing up what i did eat).
healing... not really sure. i don't make myself sick anymore and i don't have an issue with the way i look, but i still don't eat when i am at school however that's anxiety.
Alisha xx