Published on 12, July, 2020
Probably feel more anxious these days when I'm by myself than when I'm at work which is ironic cause by the end of a week I feel like I need a few days off with no people Worried about others always alone even though I still live at home worrying about the future trying to make sense of why nurotypicals hate us and why they hate us feeling butter cause nothing ever changes for us. Scared to go out on my days off cause you think everyone is out to screw you over even though in reality there not and not being able sleep due to dwelling on the past and thinking back to how you've been treated and feeling like your in hell I don't beleive in heaven hell but metaphoricaly. Speaking. Like s constant headache that won't go away.
I did Warhammer but once I started doing it on commission I got board with it. Cause it turned into a job but now I have another job I'm tempted to get back into the hobby still have s bit of scenery and a few sets lying round I could potentially get on with but yeah arts my main hobby usual painting in my room with some Heavy metal on nothing cures hyper focus temporarily than a bit death of thrash metal. I find it's pretty productive to work to as works to the speed of mind and the mentality of it I guess.
As in I find heavy Metal helps me home in on my hyperfocus cause your focused on the rifts and you work to the speed and tempo but also Chanel your anger to the music which I find then resleses my stress making me calmer after.