Published on 12, July, 2020
Probably feel more anxious these days when I'm by myself than when I'm at work which is ironic cause by the end of a week I feel like I need a few days off with no people Worried about others always alone even though I still live at home worrying about the future trying to make sense of why nurotypicals hate us and why they hate us feeling butter cause nothing ever changes for us. Scared to go out on my days off cause you think everyone is out to screw you over even though in reality there not and not being able sleep due to dwelling on the past and thinking back to how you've been treated and feeling like your in hell I don't beleive in heaven hell but metaphoricaly. Speaking. Like s constant headache that won't go away.
Learning to juggle is brilliant not only for anxiety but improving mental processes (and stamina) - also focussing on juggling means thoughts can come and go, and calm, its like mindfulness. Its difficult to juggle well, or any activity involving physical coordination (even just balancing), if your thoughts are racing/raging or not managed well.
It is not easy though, and frustrating, but your brain is gradually making sense of what you are trying to do, and it can take a long time for it to click into places. Its an amazing feeling when it does, even if you drop a ball straight away, you then move on to your brain learning to keep it all going for longer and longer
I had no trouble with 2 balls as a child, but 3 was just impossible for me (so I thought), and then later in life tried again but still no luck, it was only in recent years that I made a real effort to help with depression.
I’m going to learn to juggle: thank you
I did Warhammer but once I started doing it on commission I got board with it. Cause it turned into a job but now I have another job I'm tempted to get back into the hobby still have s bit of scenery and a few sets lying round I could potentially get on with but yeah arts my main hobby usual painting in my room with some Heavy metal on nothing cures hyper focus temporarily than a bit death of thrash metal. I find it's pretty productive to work to as works to the speed of mind and the mentality of it I guess.