Constant anxiety when you have to much free time on your hands?

Probably feel more anxious these days when I'm by myself than when I'm at work which is ironic cause by the end of a week I feel like I need a few days off with no people Worried about others always alone even though I still live at home worrying about the future trying to make sense of why nurotypicals hate us and why they hate us feeling butter cause nothing ever changes for us. Scared to go out on my days off cause you think everyone is out to screw you over even though in reality there not and not being able sleep due to dwelling on the past and thinking back to how you've been treated and feeling like your in hell I don't beleive in heaven hell but metaphoricaly. Speaking. Like s constant headache that won't go away. 

  • I am also in the same situation as you. I'm afraid of the holidays, I want to go to the company so that I don't have to think much about being busy. Every time I stay at home I have thoughts of death, really. But I couldn't do it, I thought of my parents, who loved me and regained consciousness. Then I get up, turn on my computer, and try to keep myself busy without thinking. I have played a lot of games, including gartic phone, games that help me entertain, get rid of those negative thoughts.

  • That's a lot to have your on mind. I get it though. It's like having a constant thinking and talking headache all the time, that sort of anxiety worrying thinking. It lessens for me when I'm busy doing things but comes back in a storm when I'm idle, like when trying to fall asleep which results in very little sleep. I also find it's like this when I try to eat I guess because eating isn't very mind consuming.

    I'm not a people person, they cause me a great deal of anxiety. In the past I've been lied to, tricked and hurt. They are literally the worst and never understand, because they don't even try to understand in my opinion. They see us and hate us without trying to get to know us first.

    I hate being on my own, it sucks and it's lonely but I'd rather be like that than with people who treat me like rubbish.

    Usually being on my own is ok so long as I keep busy. If I don't keep busy then anxiety creeps in and I'm in for a rough day.

  • I'm not either unless I'm drinking then that's the only time I feel confident. The rest of the time round I'm introvert always on edge figity cause of my ADHD hell I think my nervousness makes others nervous as they then get suspicious of you. I do carry one of the national autistic cards around in my wallet just incase but like public transport rtriggers my anxiety but like you when I'm working I'm fine I switch off I'm in routine I'm fine. But anything ellse when it comes to social conversions without drink I'm a nervous reck and a complete introvert thing is though I like talking but when you have crippleing anxiety it's not so easy. But being on my own my consionce races like whys the world so fucked why are goverment so corrupt why has nothing changed for us why don't people still understand yet even though we've been on this planet just as long as nurotypicals have cause I understand how autism devolps along with ADHD and slot of its linked to DNA over laps so why aren't we still not accepted in society *** like that basically. And yeah sucidal thoughts go through my mind to I guess at times cause I'm so sick of the bullshit and the migraine in my head. But nice to know I'm not alone I guess.

  • I did Warhammer but once I started doing it on commission I got board with it. Cause it turned into a job but now I have another job I'm tempted to get back into the hobby still have s bit of scenery and a few sets lying round I could potentially get on with but yeah arts my main hobby usual painting in my room with some Heavy metal on nothing cures hyper focus temporarily than a bit death of thrash metal. I find it's pretty productive to work to as works to the speed of mind and the mentality of it I guess.

  • As in I find heavy Metal helps me home in on my hyperfocus cause your focused on the rifts and you work to the speed and tempo but also Chanel your anger to the music which I find then resleses my stress making me calmer after. 

  • Me too.  It’s good to know that this is probably neurological because then I don’t have to fight the thoughts.  If I try to fight this negativity it will be like trying to get paint to stop drying by thinking about it. 
    the opposite is saying ‘Thank you’ to the negative thoughts and welcoming them as if I am a good host.  

    That is the theory anyway. 

  • I’m going to learn to juggle: thank you 

  • I know it doesn't really make a huge difference to feeling better but in a way I find it's nice to know we aren't all alone in feeling this way.

    It's still hard as heck though. Life speeding along faster than I can handle. It's more manageable when I'm busy and occupied with things but when it gets too much you're on your own. No support, no help. Doctors don't help. You write to the MP or something and they make promises but never deliver. So you're still in it alone.

    Like you I can't handle social situations. I try but I just can't. I don't really try to be social now if I'm honest, I did used to but got hurt and used before so now I struggle to trust others.

    The world is very anti-Autism. We all share the world, but a lot of the time it feels like I'm not wanted here.

  • Yeah I've always said doctors are morons when it comes to understanding autism or ADHD along with shrinks too. There fine at the rest of there jobs but a nurotypical mind will never understand ours.