Doubting my diagnosis

sphynx said:

and as Dawn says, it may be helpful to get a second, more thorough assessment. I myself had two assessments, and it was helpful to have confirmation from the second one.

 Yes, I am planning on it a few years from now on my own, and I really think it will be more likely really autism, a previous psychiatrist I went before the one that gave me my assessment was much more in depth, asked about some experiences I had, or about what I liked, I never knew he was suspecting I was autistic. It went on for a few sessions(don't remember how many),  but the last one I had with him, he gave me that autism test where you had to mark stuff on a 1-5 scale, he gave it to me and said "If you have any questions about the test, ask me for help", and since I was kinda burned out on the day, I basically marked 3 on every question.  Never knew the answer, but according to my mom, it was Generalized Anxiety Disorder.

"but your assessment does sound rather slopperly done and you need to be sure."

  Thank you, this is the most helpful answer, honestly, I was already planning on it once I get to college or after it when I have the money for it on my own.

I'm pretty certain that my diagnosis is correct, but I hope it's OK that I've generally had no problem intuitively sensing people's emotions: I'm almost hyper-sensitive to them in fact. That doesn't fall outside the spectrum of allowable traits though does it? I heard autistic people do 'too much' (by NT standards) or too little of most things. So maybe feeling strong, almost excessive, empathy for a lot of people - to the point where it's draining - is still not not autistic. I hope. My confidence can be shaken so easily, and I know you only meant to reassure, not challenge difference within the continuum.

I have also experienced extensive doubt around my diagnosis, also because my mum said she didn’t see traits in me in my early childhood. It’s also not uncommon to experience impostor syndrome after diagnosis, so know that you’re not alone. After a little reading, my mum has said that she did see traits in me when I was little, it’s just that at the time she didn’t recognise them for what they showed.

After a little reading, my mum has said that she did see traits in me when I was little, it’s just that at the time she didn’t recognise them for what they showed.

 It may be worth encouraging your mum to do some more research, if you think that would be possible and helpful.

as perfect example says, traits tend to be amplified by stress or pressure, which typically mounds as you grew into teenage years and adulthood – I know this was true for me.

and as Dawn says, it may be helpful to get a second, more thorough assessment. I myself had two assessments, and it was helpful to have confirmation from the second one.

I know the doubting process can be hard, so do feel free to get in touch if you’d like to chat further. Good luck with your next steps

There are a lot of poorly done diagnoses out there, often missing people who are on the spectrum, sometimes seeing ASD where it's not. It sounds like you partially identify with it, but your assessment does sound rather slopperly done and you need to be sure.

The only way you can get that clarity is another assessment; a very careful in depth one.

There are a number of possibilities here. You are sensitive to noise etc and it is possible to have sensory processing issues in the absence of autism. It could be another condition causing that. You could have some other form of neurodivergence.

That said, don't dismiss autism outright on the basis that your mum thinks you make eye contact or knew when she was sad. Many people who have a subtler presentation but who are definitely on the spectrum can do, or appear to do that. I appear to make eye contact, I look at people when I am talking to them, but am really mostly focusing on the mouth. The ability to pick up on emotions is often worked out by context, thinking it through, or by verbal information, rather than just intuiting that like neurotypical people do. Working that out is hard for many of us to do, but not impossible to compensate for.

Either way, I would suggest you need to list the things that are difficult for you and your strength areas and go get a more thorough assessment to tell you the underlying cause. It would either confirm your autistic identity, or offer you an explanation that better fits you to enable you to move forward. You definately need to come out with a proper profile report, which I assume you don't have, detailing the ins and outs of where you meet the criteria and how you are personally affected.

We all deserve to know the wheres and whyfores of who we are. We all deserve the right diagnosis.

There is a lot of negative vibe about diagnose of ASD, as that is perceived as a disease or medical condition, that can't be cured and therefore the attitude is that everything is doomed... I have even met people who decided not to have children because they had ASD. I don't really see much sense in that choice, because no matter how hard it is, but communicating with family members will be always easier, than with other people. Also, my life experience was really great in my childhood and I was smart and up to highschool I considered rest of other kids as slightly retarded, as I was clearly superior to them in intellect, so ASD was explanatory to me why I was smarter(that and also I started to read a lot of books).

From my viewpoint, problems related with ASD are surfacing, when in stressful situations. That has a random element - you can be in some environment and look very normal to other people, but as soon as that environment change, you might have no doubts, that you are experiencing different sensations, compared to other people.

If you have a lot of autistic traits, that is a reason for you to have ASD diagnosis. You might be surprised how many of  us look "normal". IMO for most Aspergers who are doing just fine, it is mainly useful to know what and why is happening.

To be fair, my reaction to loudly speaking people is not that dramatic - it can either cause me to raise voice or I can decide, that person is aggressive, so you clearly have more sensitive reaction to that than I have and I am also on a spectrum and I have no doubts about that if it is about me. I had only doubts about that if there was any point in getting diagnosed, as there is not much use for those who are adults and were going through challenges of life without any help, but finding things how they work the hard way - by trial and error and repeating until something was working out.