Published on 12, July, 2020
I need advice.
About 3 years ago(when I was 15), I got diagnosed with ASD(Asperger's Syndrome to be more specific), I was kinda surprised, but everything made sense, I had a lot of problems autistic people have, for example, I used to have strong reactions to sudden loud sounds(like when my classmates started talking loudly at the same time, it felt like a panic attack and I would putmy head on my desk and cover my ears), I also have trouble getting tone sometimes(I get confused when they say it in a more agressive tone, especially if I don't know the person well). Basically, I presented a lot of autistic traits and quite a bit of people suspected I was autistic, some were even psychiatrists. But, my mom says I'm not, she says I used to look her in the eyes and could pick up when she was sad when I was a small child.
She claims she took me to several professionals(including the one that gave me my diagnosis), and that they all told me I was normal(my mom even made some brainwave scans), when I got the diagnosis, it was really fast, he asked a few questions, and I was give the diagnosis in the very same day. Am I really autistic? Or it was a bad doctor? The only other time I remember a professional thinking I was autistic, he game me a quiz(which I was not interest and all and half-assed it).
There are a lot of poorly done diagnoses out there, often missing people who are on the spectrum, sometimes seeing ASD where it's not. It sounds like you partially identify with it, but your assessment does sound rather slopperly done and you need to be sure.
The only way you can get that clarity is another assessment; a very careful in depth one.
There are a number of possibilities here. You are sensitive to noise etc and it is possible to have sensory processing issues in the absence of autism. It could be another condition causing that. You could have some other form of neurodivergence.
That said, don't dismiss autism outright on the basis that your mum thinks you make eye contact or knew when she was sad. Many people who have a subtler presentation but who are definitely on the spectrum can do, or appear to do that. I appear to make eye contact, I look at people when I am talking to them, but am really mostly focusing on the mouth. The ability to pick up on emotions is often worked out by context, thinking it through, or by verbal information, rather than just intuiting that like neurotypical people do. Working that out is hard for many of us to do, but not impossible to compensate for.
Either way, I would suggest you need to list the things that are difficult for you and your strength areas and go get a more thorough assessment to tell you the underlying cause. It would either confirm your autistic identity, or offer you an explanation that better fits you to enable you to move forward. You definately need to come out with a proper profile report, which I assume you don't have, detailing the ins and outs of where you meet the criteria and how you are personally affected.
We all deserve to know the wheres and whyfores of who we are. We all deserve the right diagnosis.
"but your assessment does sound rather slopperly done and you need to be sure."
Thank you, this is the most helpful answer, honestly, I was already planning on it once I get to college or after it when I have the money for it on my own.
I'm pretty certain that my diagnosis is correct, but I hope it's OK that I've generally had no problem intuitively sensing people's emotions: I'm almost hyper-sensitive to them in fact. That doesn't fall outside the spectrum of allowable traits though does it? I heard autistic people do 'too much' (by NT standards) or too little of most things. So maybe feeling strong, almost excessive, empathy for a lot of people - to the point where it's draining - is still not not autistic. I hope. My confidence can be shaken so easily, and I know you only meant to reassure, not challenge difference within the continuum.