Dealing with humans

I really like the title of your post, it perfectly encapsulates how cross neurotype interactions can be incredibly confusing/stressful. It is very funny too, it made me laugh. As Jamie from 1800 Seconds on Autism podcast says ‘neurotypicals are baffling’. Humans as a species are complex animals.

Billy87 said:

When I meet people from other countries I seem to be able to get on with them a bit more often and have a bit more of a connection with them but I don't know if that's just my imagination.

Yes but this is because you are not immediately expected to understand their language and culture-Double Empathy Problem.

I really understand that. I find them exactly the same. It is difficult, I miss hanging out with people and socialising at the weekend but when I actually get a chance to do it I make an excuse not to because its too overwhelming for me. 

Work is a double edged sword. It occupies my mind so I dont stay home and become depressed but at the same time it overwhelms me and causes the very anxiety and breakdowns Im trying to avoid. 

Sorry to hear you have had to stay in since you left school. How long ago was that if you dont mind me asking? dont worry if you dont want to say.

I hope you are able to get out. Im happy to chat if you ever need it. I used to play tennis a lot too. I love cricket 

Yes - getting out is really important. My son has problems with wanting to withdraw from life and I am trying to encourage him to come out more - even if it’s just for a walk. I understand how he feels though as I’m also autistic and my anxiety means that I feel like hiding away from life too sometimes. It’s a bit of a vicious circle. 

I find people so confusing and they make me extremely anxious and scared all the time. Even typing here online is stressful and makes me scared. I'd like to know people, have friends but at the same time I wouldn't. It's so difficult. I agree that it's better to be out working or doing something, staying in is really damaging if it's all the time. I'm trying to get out now, I've been in since I left school and I'm really suffering because of it now. I like cricket and tennis.

Assuming we don't know helps investigate cognitive bias.

I have a feeling this: "using compensatory strategies to modify their social behaviour" has to do with what feels like a phenomena to NeuroTypicals. They are pre-designed to accept this 'download' in to their wiring which teaches them social codes at a subconscious level (called Sublimation). This is a submerged state which can be reached through practice and inquiry but if you feel like life is functioning smoothly, why would you bother looking into it. Therefore, they find it fascinating that Autistic wiring isn't the same.

I read some of this and will read more. Knowing Francesca Happé is part of this is hopeful as she's helping the NT world understand why autistics are the opposite of psychopaths. Most likely contributing to the wording of what I'm reading here: reinforcing how "little" NueroTypical individuals know/understand. In other words, stop acting like you have the answers, NT humans, you are clueless. 

Me too. I want to live in a little cottage on a farm in the Swiss alps

Well, I think it's better to know where their probing into out nature is heading, 

Myself I would rather keep them in the dark, otherwise their probing might lead to us being none the wiser and them easily reading and manipulating us

I dreamt and imagined more scary futures many times :P but still I have no wish for them to become true

I found the link https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-019-0308-y

for someone like me with alexithymia deep masking isn't possible because I'm unable to deduce them on spot, but in retrospection I can use statistical overview of a population to think about those compensating solution, and they supposed to be not causing anxiety

Haha is it?? Or is it just being wise if you come from somewhere the research is dragging? Where do we draw the line between those who move somewhere for a career path and those who move somewhere to find a little more sanity. 

Imagine having a difficult time with social skills and language and and then being at the mercy of a whole collective who can't simply reason past their own bias very well. I mean can you imagine (of course we all can). If you have a link, would love to see this magnificent 4th pillar.

UK is 3rd country I live in so far, and to the contrary to the common saying, I say anywhere else is better then home LOL

As it was mentioned before, it's easier to hide own quirks among foreigners, then among same nationality people

plus there is so many more places to see, languages to learn, history to rediscover, weird habits and behavious to observe (and they say about us weirdos HAHAHA)

I haven't moved anywhere!  I work in an area with a highly diverse population :-)

nag i HATE HUMANS, Dont understand them and their logic at all. Horrible creatures.

to give you more insight

my neurotypical friend, the artist, when I asked him about people and lying, he confirmed that they are lying all the time, on average, first lie comes out when you meet first person during the day, whoever may that be

I’m sorry ‘Hippo….’ - that sounds like a horrible day. I had a load of incredibly frustrating problems today problems today - one thing after another after another - I ended up pacing the room with anxiety and frustration. 
I sometimes feel like I want to hide. Sometimes I feel id like to take some kind of tablet that lets me sleep for a whole month none stop so I can have a proper rest from everything. If I didn’t have my husband and son living with me I don’t think I could cope. 

All these comments are making me want to emigrate!
Actually I genuinely would love a new start somewhere. 

I can really understand that. My day was very similar. Ihave been navigating so many confusing and stressful situations at work with people today, all while being quite physically unwell. I feel like people have agendas and want to play games and I was just born without an agenda. I feel like im navigating a minefield, just like you said

You are so right about adults being taught not to be genuine to themselves, that makes so much sense. Maybe thats why they are the way they are?

Thank you, I'll watch that 

Adults are not genuine to themselves, and taught not to be, so all the socializing has complex layers of formality, expectations, agendas,  unspoken rules. It's like navigating a mine field.

Like today, it was such a nightmare dealing with people, that I just wished that I didn't exist. It was just a day of dealing with a lot of difficult situations, while my health is suffering, and it was just chaos. I had to do medical tests that required me to talk to people, a package I ordered was not delivered so I had to contact the delivery people, my manager was frustrated because I called in sick so I called them back so that we could talk, my partner was frustrated because I repaired something of theirs so they got upset because they didn't want me to waste my time repairing it, and then they messed up the house in their frustration. It was just such a lousy day that I just want to hide forever and never come back out. 

I found youtube channel created by Yo Samdy Sam, she has MD in psychology and is autistic, even though channel looks like died 6 months ago when she got here baby, there is a lot of useful info I haven't seen anywhere else

link to video about masking https://youtu.be/t9COmZ2HwXY

What does that mean? Im really interesetd 

JuniperFromGallifrey said:

You'll get along with foreigners much better

it's 4th pillar of masking according to newest research into autism called accomodation