Dealing with humans

Does anyone understand how humans work? I have no idea. I honestly feel like I have more in common with ducks and hippos than humans, I can understand their behaviour and relate to them better. I feed the ducks every day and I get on great with them. I visit the zoo alot and the male hippo there recognises me and greets me

I don't understand humans, they seem so cruel and unkind and no matter how much I wrack my brains I don't understand why. Learning to interact with them feels very like learning a foreign language. There are all sorts of things I'm apparently not supposed to do that seem perfectly logical to me to do and so many things I am supposed to do that make no sense at all. I don't understand the things that seem to matter to them either. Navigating social situations with them and the dos and don'ts of that is terrifying, stressful and confusing but I have to do it everyday to hold down a job.

I also wonder if it is a nationality thing? When I meet people from other countries I seem to be able to get on with them a bit more often and have a bit more of a connection with them but I don't know if that's just my imagination.

My special interest is Germany, football, music, food and culture. I feel happy when I'm doing German stuff. My other special interest is cricket, that seems to make me feel calm and peaceful

I don't want to stop working completely cos I need to busy for my mental health and I want to go out and play sports and see people and not be isolated but wow they are confusing 

Parents
  • You'll get along with foreigners much better because they add a courtesy and grace extended to someone who 'doesn't speak the language'. There's an automatic assumption you're different. 

    It turns out many of us move to other countries for this exact reason. 

    There's a good deal of literature and philosophy on the cruelty of society, some more outwardly than others. Sometimes I think the obstacle of 'fairness' is always at play. 

  • You'll get along with foreigners much better

    it's 4th pillar of masking according to newest research into autism called accomodation

  • Haha is it?? Or is it just being wise if you come from somewhere the research is dragging? Where do we draw the line between those who move somewhere for a career path and those who move somewhere to find a little more sanity. 

    Imagine having a difficult time with social skills and language and and then being at the mercy of a whole collective who can't simply reason past their own bias very well. I mean can you imagine (of course we all can). If you have a link, would love to see this magnificent 4th pillar.

  • Well, I think it's better to know where their probing into out nature is heading, 

    Myself I would rather keep them in the dark, otherwise their probing might lead to us being none the wiser and them easily reading and manipulating us

    I dreamt and imagined more scary futures many times :P but still I have no wish for them to become true

    I found the link https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-019-0308-y

    for someone like me with alexithymia deep masking isn't possible because I'm unable to deduce them on spot, but in retrospection I can use statistical overview of a population to think about those compensating solution, and they supposed to be not causing anxiety

Reply
  • Well, I think it's better to know where their probing into out nature is heading, 

    Myself I would rather keep them in the dark, otherwise their probing might lead to us being none the wiser and them easily reading and manipulating us

    I dreamt and imagined more scary futures many times :P but still I have no wish for them to become true

    I found the link https://molecularautism.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s13229-019-0308-y

    for someone like me with alexithymia deep masking isn't possible because I'm unable to deduce them on spot, but in retrospection I can use statistical overview of a population to think about those compensating solution, and they supposed to be not causing anxiety

Children
  • Assuming we don't know helps investigate cognitive bias.

    I have a feeling this: "using compensatory strategies to modify their social behaviour" has to do with what feels like a phenomena to NeuroTypicals. They are pre-designed to accept this 'download' in to their wiring which teaches them social codes at a subconscious level (called Sublimation). This is a submerged state which can be reached through practice and inquiry but if you feel like life is functioning smoothly, why would you bother looking into it. Therefore, they find it fascinating that Autistic wiring isn't the same.

    I read some of this and will read more. Knowing Francesca Happé is part of this is hopeful as she's helping the NT world understand why autistics are the opposite of psychopaths. Most likely contributing to the wording of what I'm reading here: reinforcing how "little" NueroTypical individuals know/understand. In other words, stop acting like you have the answers, NT humans, you are clueless.