Published on 12, July, 2020
Does anyone understand how humans work? I have no idea. I honestly feel like I have more in common with ducks and hippos than humans, I can understand their behaviour and relate to them better. I feed the ducks every day and I get on great with them. I visit the zoo alot and the male hippo there recognises me and greets me
I don't understand humans, they seem so cruel and unkind and no matter how much I wrack my brains I don't understand why. Learning to interact with them feels very like learning a foreign language. There are all sorts of things I'm apparently not supposed to do that seem perfectly logical to me to do and so many things I am supposed to do that make no sense at all. I don't understand the things that seem to matter to them either. Navigating social situations with them and the dos and don'ts of that is terrifying, stressful and confusing but I have to do it everyday to hold down a job.
I also wonder if it is a nationality thing? When I meet people from other countries I seem to be able to get on with them a bit more often and have a bit more of a connection with them but I don't know if that's just my imagination.
My special interest is Germany, football, music, food and culture. I feel happy when I'm doing German stuff. My other special interest is cricket, that seems to make me feel calm and peaceful
I don't want to stop working completely cos I need to busy for my mental health and I want to go out and play sports and see people and not be isolated but wow they are confusing
I work with people from different countries on a daily basis and find it easier. Any difficulties are covered up by communication or cultural differences.
You'll get along with foreigners much better because they add a courtesy and grace extended to someone who 'doesn't speak the language'. There's an automatic assumption you're different.
It turns out many of us move to other countries for this exact reason.
There's a good deal of literature and philosophy on the cruelty of society, some more outwardly than others. Sometimes I think the obstacle of 'fairness' is always at play.