University nightmare help

Demz said:

I realise I don't have many friends here and the friends I do have all have better friends than me

Have you looked at student societies?

Demz said:

Especially when i can hear people having fun partying in the kitchen when I am not welcome (my bedroom is next to the kitchen).

You have every right to be there. It's your house too. And no matter how much they moan about it you need to move through their for access no matter what so really stop apologising just use the space and when you need to.

Hi, my niece is having the same issues, she's ended up living in house with party girls when she doesn't enjoy clubbing. She has ended up moving out as the girls had started to get unpleasant as she had no interest in going out with them. Are you in Uni accommodation? If it isn't a good fit for you then moving into another flat might be an option. In terms of making friends it's really not easy at the moment as many clubs and societies aren't operating as normal but see what is. This is where you will find people with similar interests. Make sure you speak to the University support staff and really push them to support you better. On a practical basis look at getting some earplugs, i use laser lite for sleeping, my autistic child uses noise reducing ear plugs when out and about. 

Hello. Sorry to hear it feels like a nightmare. I remember uni accommodation and noise very well - and the pressure of fitting in and making sense of it all. I've also worked as a lecturer for a long time - and I'm hopeful that there are staff that will really care about your well-being right now and be able to offer support or strategies going forward or make allowances for you in the meantime. I'm very sure they will not want to lose you as a student especially with such potential. This time of year is challenging already for many so they will be very familiar with issues like this at exam time (and especially since covid). A personal tutor or campus well-being service might be the starting point. Whether they know of your diagnosis or not there should be staff you can reach out to who will know how to offer practical support and with some degree of confidentiality liaise with your academic staff if needed (and maybe help find you a quieter location, have extra time or study or emotional support right now,  or have  priority access to quiet spaces on campus/in libraries for example.)....If you have a diagnosis this may well be the basis of a formal support plan going forward. 

You’re pretty much describing my second year at university. I really struggled with the lack of authoritative input as well, like the lecturers didn’t care so much if you couldn’t be arsed where as school came down on you more if you strayed out of line (although I still messed up my AS levels because there was more autonomous learning expected) I also understand exactly what you mean about friends having better friends and also the random parties right next to my room. I did much better in the first year where we lived more separately in halls rather than sharing houses. My second degree though I excelled in because I lived at home and it was part of my job so it was easier to focus on the work and wasn’t an issue if I kept more to myself whilst at lectures. Does your university have any more private accommodation they could move you to? Have you spoken to the lecturers or the disabilities team about your struggles?